The Motorbike Diaries – Volume 2

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Obstacles. Today was the day I was supposed to take the motorbike out and practice riding it. Yet, from the moment I stepped outside, I had obstacles in my way.

In my little alleyway that leads to my apartment, there were about 15 parked motorbikes. Somehow, the two that are usually out there reproduced overnight. Luckily, my motorbike didn’t reproduce in my living room, as there would be absolutely no more space in my narrow little apartment. Thank God for birth control.

Practice day

This mass motorbike reproduction posed a problem for my weekend practice plans; I didn’t really have a good way to get the bike out! Granted – I could have gone over and mimed to the neighbors (who don’t speak English) that I needed the other bikes moved. They would have been happy to help me, and the problem would have been solved.

Plan A – go unnoticed

However, in my massive neurosis about driving a motorbike, I had somehow envisioned that I would be able to quietly sneak out of my little alley without people noticing and without calling any attention to myself. Don’t ask me why I wanted this…I just did. I wanted to be invisible. Asking people to move bikes and then having to push my bike past a whole wedding party was not the kind of attention I wanted.

Plan B – wait

So I waited. I worked instead and decided to go out later in the afternoon, when the commotion in the alley had calmed down. Plan B sounded good; wait and work. While I was waiting and working, I heard it…the deep rumble of thunder. Soon, the skies opened up, and the rains came down for hours and hours. My afternoon practice was rained out. Mother Nature apparently doesn’t want me to learn to drive a motorbike.

Plan C – wait some more

Plan C – wait and work and go out around 10PM when the rain would be over, the streets dry, and the traffic would be very minimal. HCMC pretty much closes up around 10 PM at night, so it’s a good time to practice.

I had dinner, waited, and watched some TV. I considered giving up for the day. The devil on my shoulder was telling me to forget it. My fear was winning – or maybe it was just tired. As I watched The Pursuit of Happyness, I listened to Will Smith’s character lecture his young son, “Never let someone tell you that you can’t do something.”

I let that sink in and brushed the devil off my shoulder. I put my medical insurance card in the front of my wallet, and I was ready to get over my fear. I wasn’t going to let fear tell me that I couldn’t do something.

Taking the plunge

It was about 9:30 PM, and I asked the neighbor to move his bike with my best charades. I got the very heavy bike out of my living room and into the alley, and pushed it past the neighbors – I was feeling brave. I moved it to a wider part of the alley where I could start it. Helmet on, kickstand up, key in ignition, starter button engaged…MMMmmmmmMMMMMmmmmMMMMMmmmmMMMMMMmmmm.

There was no nice, even roar of the engine ready to take on the open road.

The bike wouldn’t start. I had all of that practice in my living room 3 days ago, and it still wouldn’t start. I was deflated. I was defeated. I tried a few more times, eventually giving up and rolling it back past the neighbors, up into my living room. I texted Mr. Linh, my rental guy, and then came back upstairs to write this.

What a crap day. No fears conquered, no practice – just obstacles.