Self Love

February 12, 2015 1 Comment »

chalk heart
Chalk heart found on the streets of Delhi India

Would you get married to yourself? You’d probably make the perfect couple – don’t you think? Think about how much easier a wedding would be without a groom – or in-laws. I recently came across this new type of tour in Japan – solo wedding tour packages.

“Cerca Travel’s two-day “solo wedding” package includes choosing your own special gown, bouquet and hairstyle, a limousine service, a stay at a hotel and a commemorative photo album. “This package boosted my sense of self-esteem… the effect was equal to a more extraordinary experience, such as visiting a World Heritage castle,” says Tomoe Sawano, one of the first to try out a “solo wedding”. About 30 women from across Japan have become “solo brides” since the service was launched in May. Almost half of them were married women who either did not have a wedding ceremony or were not satisfied with that experience, according to Cerca Travel.”

I couldn’t decide whether I should be disgusted or elated by this new idea. I settled on simply being intrigued. I put it up on my Facebook page and it ended up sparking a great debate between friends – ranging from rage to disgust, to cultural education. I’ve personally had a really tough year when it comes to love but I’m pretty sure that it will never come to this for me – I’m not really that interested in weddings – however if I were to ever get married, getting married to myself would be pretty spectacular.

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, it always gives me a chance to take stock in my love life or lack of one. My past year of ups and downs in relationships has given me a lot to think about regarding how I personally deal with them and what I look for.  A relationship (platonic or romantic) to me is one in which I love who I am when I am with the person. Yes, I’m well aware that this is a very selfish look at love – it’s all about ME. But I guess that’s how I see the world after years of being on my own with no kids or boyfriend. ME is first. Not sure this is healthy – but it’s the reality.

But putting ME first actually does work in some ways. When I’m in relationships in which the person brings out the best in me then in turn I’m happier and more stable and that then melts into every aspect of my life. I become more caring, giving, and selfless when I’m happy. When I feel good – you will feel good. So what’s wrong with self-love?

I’ve had plenty of the other situation – being with someone who brings out the things in me that I hate. The relationships that make you feel crazy, needy, and less self-confident. These are the people that I somehow end up often dating. It’s not necessarily their problem – it’s just the combo of the both of you together doesn’t work – sort of like a lab experiment. You can both be perfectly great datable people, but put together it creates a reaction that will blow up the whole room….or in my case my self-confidence.

That’s why I value the idea of self-love, you have to be around people who bring out the best in you, the pieces you love about yourself. Until then – keep looking.

This Valentine’s Day if you are all by yourself like me, maybe you should consider sending yourself a bouquet of roses. After all, it may lead to dating yourself and eventually a solo wedding in Japan in the future! And my oh my think of the solo honeymoon – I think I’ve been eternally on that for the last 8 years!

Together or solo – just love yourself.

I continue my Valentine’s Day tradition of posting Valentine’s heart pictures from the past year that I’ve encountered as I traverse the world – some are easy to see, and some you may have to use your imagination.  I personally love this diverse collection from 2014 as it also reminds me of all of the great, lovely places I’ve traveled to!

Do you have a favorite heart below?

heart waterfall kauai
A heart-shaped canyon waterfall in Kauai
heart shadow India
In the shadow of love at Soma Kerala Palace in India
heart tarts
Heart tarts for sale at the Fredericton New Brunswick Saturday Market.
Eroded heart uluru australia
Eroded heart found at Uluru in Northern Territory Australia
Moss heart
Moss heart found in the Great Bear Rainforest in BC Canada
Styrofoam heart
Styrofoam heart found at the Charlottetown Confederation Centre of the Arts in PEI Canada
Leaf Heart
Leaf heart found in the Amazon river basin jungle in Peru
Heart lock
A heart lock on Paris’s Pont des Arts
Cardboard heart
Cardboard Heart found in the sand while exploring the Kerala Backwaters in India
Snow heart
Snow heart found near Lake Louise while snowshoeing in Alberta
rock heart
Man-made heart found in Lima Peru
money heart
Money hearts found at the market in Delhi
carved heart
A heart carved in an Aspen tree in Colorado. Found while I was out camping one that I heart. 🙂

If you loved these hearts, then check out my heart photography around the world in years past
Love, You Can’t Always Get What You Want – 2014
Searching for Signs of Love – 2013
I Heart Photography – 2012

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