Welcome to the Belize Jungle

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“Allie is ok with silence.” Michele says. I hang on to any piece of advice Allie’s mom can give me as I am quite nervous about how this trip is going to go. This new piece of advice doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m not very good with silence I think- so this should be interesting. I’m not exactly sure why this Niece Project trip has me so stressed and apprehensive, but it does; I can feel it in my gut. I love Allie, my brother’s middle daughter, to death; in some ways she’s the most intriguing to me out of any of my 6 nieces. She’s intriguing because I can’t quite understand her or predict her path to adulthood. I adore things that are unpredictable more than anything; maybe because unpredictable things take you on a journey where you never really know what’s around the corner. So you get high on anticipation of what it could be. And I can’t wait to see what Allie ‘could be’ in adulthood. But for now from my perspective she’s complex often and appears to live at the extremes – she’s quiet, yet vocal; hard, but soft; and there’s so many things going on inside her mind that never comes out verbally. And strangely – that’s the part that I understand, because I’m the same way.

I realize that these Niece Project trips are as much about my growth as it is about their growth. It’s about how I come to grips with trying to relate to a younger generation, to my own aging, and some of my own life decisions I suppose.

Even though this is my 4th trip with one of my nieces, I’m still never prepared for the feeling of responsibility that washes over me when we first leave; that moment where I realize, they are my responsibility. The realization that I need to worry about someone other than myself, I need to protect and teach, yet let them go and discover for themselves. I need to keep parents updated, I need to adjust to not being solo. I need to not control everything – after all, this is their trip. It’s this weird feeling of giving up control and taking control at the same time. And it always, always leaves knots in my stomach and a sense of initial panic.

Read the entire story here of our first nights in the jungle…

Want to learn more about the Niece Project, or be inspired to start your own?

Niece Project Series