“I don’t know how you travel with dad, I don’t think I could do it,” my siblings often mention to me. We all have distinct memories of growing up and my father being the ‘leader’ of the family and family trips. He was the one who made all the decisions and ultimately the family dictator. Yes – that’s how family life was back then growing up GenX…none of this ‘let’s get consensus so everyone is happy’ stuff. You did what you parents said you were going to do.
But with age we all change. We are no longer kids, he is no longer a middle age father trying to make ends meat and raise a family. That’s the beautiful thing about time and aging…we mellow. I’ve mellowed, my dad has mellowed. Our father daughter relationship has changed and matured. And with the passing of time he’s become one of my favorite people to travel with these days because we are probably more alike than I like to admit.
Or maybe it’s just that I like to go at ‘senior’ speed, you see and experience things differently; it’s one of the many reasons on why you should travel with your parents. He doesn’t need to see and do everything, he’s pretty happy with one activity a day and then sitting around, soaking up the environment and reading – while I work on blogging.
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Saying Yes to Father Daughter Travel
I was pretty excited when he finally said “yes” to my invitation to join me hiking the Camino de Ronda in Spain. However the excitement quickly changed to worry (a trait I inherited from my mother) as soon as I got off Skype with him. I started to really wonder if I should be taking a 79 year old on an intense 2 week coastal hike. I found that for the weeks leading up to the hike as well as during the hike, I would be balancing those emotions of excitement and worry constantly.
Once we got on the trail, and started our 15-day, 100-mile journey we got into a rhythm, which is one of my favorite parts of long distance hiking; your day is about eating, sleeping, and moving forward – that’s it. It’s the simplicity that I love. Someone asked me on social media if we walked separately or side-by-side most of the time, and the answer was that we were seldom side-by-side. It wasn’t a hand-in-hand skipping father-daughter Yellow Brick Road hike to Oz. We were typically about 20 feet apart on the trail changing the lead constantly. We hiked at different paces, we entered our own little worlds when we started hiking, and conversation would ebb and flow.
So that means that I had a lot of time to think,when I wasn’t watching my every step on the technical terrain! Hiking is like active meditation as I think about all kinds of things; blogging strategy, writing, relationships, lack of love life, and on this hike I thought a lot about my dad and this special experience I had with him. And since we have Father’s Day right around the corner, I decided to share those thoughts.
8 Things I Thought About When Hiking With My Father
1. Are we going the right way?
Hiking is often the eternal struggle/doubting of finding our way. And I certainly didn’t want to lead us down (or up) a wrong path that we would have to retrace. When you are 79 years old – every step counts! We got in a few navigation arguments, but nothing serious.
2. Will I be in that good of shape at 79 to do something like this?
Considering how bad my knees and foot are from running in my 30’s, I am pretty sure the answer is “no” . But who knows, maybe I will get his good genes. When a friend asked my dad what his secret was to being in this good of physical shape at this age, he answered, “there’s a lot of luck involved.” I agree. I think there’s a lot of luck in general in life – and sometimes you have it and sometimes you don’t. My dad might not look fit, but he’s a very active person, and I think one of the keys in aging well is to just keep moving, stretching, and being active; a sedentary lifestyle if the fastest path to an unhealthy life. And of course there’s a little luck involved too!
3. Why can’t he go faster…oh wait a minute…he’s 79.
Yes – there were days where I wondered why he had to stop so much, or take breaks when I wasn’t tired. He went slow and worried about steep climbs, and I just powered through wondering why it was taking him so long. And then I’d remember…oh yes, he’s 79. One thing he really improved in throughout the hike was reading his own signals of when he needed to stop and take a break. And I got better at learning how to ‘honor’ that and even ask if he needed a break.
4. Is he eating and drinking enough?
Yes – I’m a worrier – especially when it comes to my dad. Hiking with someone else reminds me of that fact that everyone’s eating and drinking needs are different. Not everyone is like me who needs food every couple of hours so my emotions don’t plummet. Once again, we figured out our routine when it came to eating during the hike. And some of my favorite times were stopping under a tree, my dad getting out his pocket knife, and sharing an apple together.
5. I wonder if he feels as awkward as I do when hiking past these nude beaches?
We had more than enough nude beaches along the trail in Costa Brava. I hadn’t really prepared for that, and tried to hurry us along as fast as I could when we encountered them. Awkward….even at 46 years old.
6. What will I remember about these times when he’s gone?
Many days on the trail I found myself wondering if this was the last big, active trip we’d take together.
I know that’s a sad thought, but I couldn’t stop my mind from going there. My parents mean the world to me – and I live in fear of the day when they are no longer here. They are my lifeline. I wondered what the next few years held, and I wondered how many more years we would have together.
As I watched him hike I tried to burn the memory deep in my brain, every interaction, every little laugh, ever disagreement…I want to remember it all. I know that all of these little things will be beautiful memories I will always have and savor. Yet at the same time more than ever I reminded myself to be present during this trip, as I never know what the future holds.
7. Since I don’t have children – who will take me traveling when I’m old?
I couldn’t help but at times wonder if anyone would do this for me when I was 79? Would I be forgotten without children and an immediate family of my own? I travel with my nieces to help ensure that I’m not forgotten and alone as I age, but there are no guarantees for the solo people – and that was a sobering thought.
8. Pure admiration…
As I watched him teeter on rocks and slowly move over boulders getting stronger every day, I felt nothing but pride in his accomplishments. So much so that I shed a few tears when he wasn’t looking. I love that I did this trip with my dad. I feel so happy when I can take him out of his world in South Dakota and introduce him to new adventures. Like me, he also thrives in these situations. And I’m thrilled he’s open to flying around the world to push himself to try new things. Most of his friends his age would never consider doing such things. It just reminds me that we are more similar than ever.
We may not have ever had a father daughter wedding dance to share, but I’ll take a father daughter hike over that any day.
View our Camino de Ronda Facebook Live videos we did daily on the trail
Read more stories about our Father Daughter Travels:
Antarctica travels with my Father
Hiking Nepal’s Annapurna Circuit with my father
Hiking the Great Wall of China with my father
Would you ever take your dad on an adventure with you? Or share a time when you have and what you thought about in the comments section below!
By Darlene Foster June 16, 2016 - 9:14 am
I love these trips you take with your dad. You are so lucky to still have him and be able to do this together (but I know you know that). My dad often said, there’s a lot of luck involved, as well. You both look so happy on the pictures. Bravo to both of you!
By Tracy June 16, 2016 - 10:19 am
Thank you for sharing your thoughts of hiking with your dad. I really enjoyed your camaraderie and your talk of food, especially ice cream. Your thoughts made me tear up. I would love to travel with my parents and would love to do something like this with my step-dad. He would really love it, but he doesn’t know that. I hope you get to do some more travels with your dad, perhaps not as physical but maybe to places to discover food and where you can take lessons.
By Jared June 16, 2016 - 12:13 pm
This is a beautiful piece Sherry. It’s very special and unique that you have these types of travel experiences with your dad.
I can relate – especially to #2. I’d like to think the answer is ‘yes’ for me but only time will tell.
I wrote a similar piece on the Stride blog about my adventures with my dad: http://www.stridetravel.com/blogs/reaching-new-heights-with-my-dad.html
By Wendy June 16, 2016 - 6:21 pm
Wonderful blog. I no longer can do something like this with my dad, who is almost 78. His balance just won’t allow it. But I cherish family trips we took when we were young. His wanderlust was definitely passed on to all his children. And I am always grateful for that.
By ottlin hass June 17, 2016 - 1:06 am
Pure gratitude for your sharing what you were able to do to-gether. be sure to draw closer to God in the days that you still have left.
we know not the day or the hour. ottli hass
By Sherry June 19, 2016 - 9:50 am
Thanks Ottlin! Great to hear from you and thanks for following our journey!
By Coco June 17, 2016 - 5:44 pm
I’ve been thinking about getting my 77 year old (South Dakota) dad to stop putting off his dream trip to Alaska. You’ve inspired me to think about whether he would be open to taking the trip with me.
By Sherry June 19, 2016 - 9:48 am
Do it!!!! Alaska can be super for all ages! And if you go – make sure you do a few days on the Alaska Railroad – it’s a great way to travel and easy for seniors. I spent 3 weeks in Alaska last summer and going back this year – so let me know if you have any questions!
https://www.ottsworld.com/destinations/north-america/america/alaska/
By Suzanne Fluhr June 19, 2016 - 2:37 am
I’m pretty sure I inherited my wanderlust from my father. He took us to live in Mexico for a year when I was 9 and to live in England for a year when I was 15. He was pretty fearless—“too fearless” I sometimes thought. He was infectiously interested in just about everything. Thanks for sharing this odessy south your dad with us.
By Sherry June 19, 2016 - 9:40 am
Wow – living in Mexico – I bet that was an adventure! It took me a long time to realize that I too inherited my thirst for doing things out of the ordinary from my father – but happy I actually figured that out…I think it has really changed the way I look at him.
By Leigh | Campfires & Concierges June 20, 2016 - 9:44 am
What special memories you’ve created with your dad!
By dan Unger October 12, 2016 - 10:37 am
I wonder if I will ever drag my son on a trip again? He is 34 and we have traveled quite a bit when he was young. I wonder if we will travel more. He works for a travel company Natural Habitat Adventure Tours(nathab.com) and goes on trips all the time. I express interest but in the 11 years he has been with them we have not traveled.
I think my legs will still be pumping in 15 years and maybe then we will hike…that is if my heart is still pumping.
Love traveling with you. Sherry
danxo
By Sherry October 12, 2016 - 7:06 pm
Well – you better just ask him to take you!! Or send him this article as a hint! 🙂
By Lucinda June 18, 2017 - 10:56 pm
Beautiful piece Sherry – can’t believe I missed it when you originally posted it. I’ve traveled and walked (hiked) a lot with my Dad too, and although he’s only 62 and still very fit, I can relate to everything in your post. I also don’t have kids, and so far only nieces (I intend to create my own niece project too). When you say you wonder who will take you travelling when you are older, I just wanted to say I feel that too, but remember there is no guarantee for people with kids either. Some kids sop speaking to their parents, or just don’t spend much time with them, or get caught up in their own lives or children. I’m sure you (and me!) will be fine.
By Sherry June 18, 2017 - 11:44 pm
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lucinda! You are right – I (and you!) will be ok – it’s just easy to worry about it at times. I hope you do a niece project! How old are your nieces?