I was huffing and puffing on my run in Canmore on a strangely spring-like, cloudy day. I kept putting one foot in front of the other, as I was completely engrossed in my new favorite podcast, Startup. Podcast host, Alex Blumberg, was just announcing this was the last podcast of season 1 and they would no longer be reporting on their own startup, Gimlet Media, which I had become completely enamored with over the last 4 months. Instead they would start reporting on other startups. I let out an audible gasp…and my inner mind screamed Nooooooooooo.
I hate endings.
At this same moment the sun suddenly burst out of the clouds and God rays streaked out among the mountain peaks. I stopped as the sun suddenly warmed my whole body. And I just stood there. I thought about Canmore and my last month in Alberta, which was all too quickly coming to an end a day from now. My whole body slumped, as my mind swirled like the clouds around the mountain peaks and I suddenly nose-dived into sadness. Sadness that it was ending, that this little cocoon of comfort and familiarity of a place that I had built for myself this last month was soon to be over and a rapid life of movement was about to start again.
I stared into the sky towards the mountains, and I was mesmerized by an large opening in the clouds that had formed a perfect heart cutout of blue sky. No, I’m not embellishing this at all. My first gut instinct was to reach for my phone and take a picture – but my excitement turned into disappointment as I realized all I had with me was my ipod and no camera. I stared at it long enough so that it burned a picture in my brain instead, and tears welled up in my eyes as this crazy culmination of running, mountains, my Startup podcast, Canmore, the heart in the clouds, Alberta, and this residency experience was coming to an end.
I stood along the side of the road crying, looking into the sky at the heart disappearing.
I really hate endings.
And this is why I agree with the controversial statement I’ve heard over and over from my male friends “Women are bat-shit crazy.” Yes, we are. We all have our moments of ridiculous overwhelming emotions that feel like they are going to explode out of our body as if a freight train is running through the middle of you and it needs to burst out. But my emotions, my craziness, my freight train passes – as it always does – and I start running again.
One would think that I would be good at endings. I have more ‘endings’ in one year of nomadic living, than any normal person has in a lifetime probably. I come, I go. I am always ending. And I am also always starting.
As much as I hate endings, I love beginnings.
When I arrived one month ago and drove away from the Calgary airport in my rental car, I watched the airport disappear behind me and I suddenly got this giddy feeling – one of anticipation and excitement. It’s an exciting feeling knowing I will be back at the airport in a month’s time, but I’ll have a whole slew of experiences that I never could have predicted. I was excited simply by daydreaming about what wonderful things would happen to me in Alberta or who I’d meet.
And now I’m back full circle at the airport – my month of living a normal life with a car, an apartment, a guest bedroom has been completed. I fell in love with the little mountain town of Canmore, and it felt good to even have a bit of a routine. I met locals, I laughed, I cried, I ran, I sweat, I created, I played with dogs, I did plenty of downward dogs, and I embraced the new. And the good news is that I’ll be sharing all of these stories and videos with you over the next few months in detail so that you too can #SeeSnowDifferently.
This Week In-stagram review is a bit sappier than normal, but so was my last week in Alberta. And even though this is the end of my residency in Alberta, stay tuned as there are a lot of blogposts and videos yet to come!
What’s next up? Another new beginning…in a sandier locale…stay tuned!
What is Week In-Stagram Review?
Each week brings some new scenery and location for me – that’s just the way I like it. If you want to follow where I am real time – then on Friday I will post some of my Instagram photos from the current week. Some weeks I may be traveling somewhere exotic, and some weeks it may be less interesting – but it will give you a peek into my life of perpetual motion.
Disclosure: I am a guest of Travel Alberta during my stay in Canmore, however all opinions are my own!