Time Goes By…
Passing Time
All I can tell you time goes fast…too fast. I used to think that was because I was always working; however, I am now without a job and it seems to move just as fast which is a bit disappointing. It makes me wonder what other things I blamed on my job that didn’t really haven anything to do with it…ooohhhh – I really should go down that psycho-analysis downward spiral.
In order to give me some ‘gameplan’ for my re-entry into NY, and to stop from being super depressed – I got out my laptop at 30,000 ft. between Tokyo and San Francisco and typed out a personal ‘contract’ for myself. I felt that I could utilize it to stay focused as I was going through all of the varied emotions and confusions about being back in the US. It goes something like this:
I will take the ESL certification course and go out in the world and teach.
I will write a book – regardless of if anyone publishes it – even if it is just for me.
I will subscribe to the NY Times and stay up on World news.
I will not be allowed to watch more than 4 tv shows (season passes) at one time.
I will NOT buy any more celebrity magazines – I don’t care if the stars also pump gas and go to the grocery store.
I will move my website and redesign it and keep it going, regardless if anyone listens.
I will redesign my photography site and get the functionality to sell photos.
I will put together a photo exhibition – even if it’s money out of my own pocket.
I will not stay in the US for more than 6 months, even if it means that I give up my apartment.
I will not let NY or fashion or social pressures work it’s way back into my life as a force. I am my own force.
I will live abroad.
I will get rid of 1 out of my 5 boxes that were in storage.
I will not be anti-American. I will respect my own culture.
I will look into manufacturing the memory game.
I will produce two photo books for resale.
I will follow my dreams and will not conform or buckle to what is expected.
I will look at this as a stop, on my journey.
I will follow my dream. Life is too short to do anything other than that.
I’ve been using this contract to guide me through my quickly disappearing days, and to my surprise, I’m actually following it fairly well. So, you ask what I’ve been doing – I’ve been going through boxes of items that were in storage and ‘cleaning house’. After living out of a suitcase for 16 months, you realize that you really don’t need much, so with that attitude, I have been simplifying. One of my big realizations about America is that we have so much stuff…and I don’t really want nor need all of this stuff any longer. I didn’t only get rid of 1 wardrobe box of clothing and personal items as was my goal in my contract – but I decided that I could get rid of much more than that I got rid or 4 wardrobe boxes.
Continuing to tick off my goals, just last week I was accepted into the ESL Certification Program offered in NYC through Cambridge University (CELTA). Starting in mid Feb, I will be going back to school to learn how to teach and also become painfully aware of how badly my grammar sucks. Ah – the good news for all of you is that it can only get better – right?! I feel like I now have a bit of focus or at least a pseudo plan for a career change!
Everyday I painfully go through another country…of photographs that is. I edit them, delete them, and reorganize them in order to get my ‘new and improved’ photography site up and running next month. This also helps me start to get my head around putting together a portfolio and a self-funded exhibition. This is a painful process only because I relive the trip all over again. I suppose I should look at that as a fun thing, but when you are already an emotional mess, I can’t say that it’s very soothing. Yet, as I do look through all of the photos, I am reminded of just how much fun I had – how very happy I was.
On the media front – I’ve been rather successful. I have subscribed to the Times (the Travel section is great!), I barely watch any television (my 4 shows are Globetrekker, American Idol, Amazing Race, and Project Runway), and I haven’t bought one celebrity trash mag…yet I must confess that I can’t go cold turkey…I still have the internet!
I’ve tried to not become a hermit, so I’ve been busy trying to re-acquaint myself with my friends. The first night I was back my friends threw a New Years party in my apartment – a memorable evening making me feel as if I had never left! Since then, I’ve been trying to spread out reunions through coffees and lunches. I’ve forced myself out into the cold to try to start running again – a slow road back. Next week I plan to start boxing again at a local boxing gym – still the best therapy that I know – I do love throwing a punch.
One crazy adventure I had recently was a night out meeting new friends. I recently was contacted by a Manhattan couple who have been reading this blog religiously as they plan their own trip around the world. They wanted to meet me in person and talk more about travel. Over martinis I had one of my best nights out since I’ve been back…I was able to talk about travel to people who were genuinely excited about every story and item I had to share. I can’t say that I often get that reaction from my existing friends. I’m not saying that as a bad thing, it’s just that they often have a different focus rather than my travels! I realized that I do have a lot to share when it comes to planning around the world travel – which solidifies that bullet point in my contract about writing a book. As a side note – anyone wanting to take me out to drinks…well – I won’t pass that up…I am on a budget these days! As I talked to them about their trip, I was so excited for their upcoming adventure – knowing that even with their best laid plans…things would change, they would discover things that weren’t on the plan, roads that would take them different places, and learn that their tastes will change throughout the year. Their journey will be amazing – as mine was.
The good news is that I feel like I do have a ton to write about yet – and not this drippy non-travel stuff like this post. I have plenty of adventures planned for NYC to share with all of you. My camera is always with me on my outings into the big, cold world of NY – that way it feels more like a stop rather than a 6 month stay. I’ll continue to use my contract to guide me through the days – some good days, some bad days, some cold days, some exciting days – but all of them fast.
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Having a list like that’s a great idea for dealing with re-entry. Good on you. I’m still on-the-road, so I have no idea what it must feel like.
And good luck with your CELTA. If it manages to improve your grammar I’ll be amazed. Mine has done nothing but deteriorate after 5 years of ESL teaching! And don’t even talk to me about vocabulary!
Sherry,
I like your list…I’m excited about you taking that ESL course! The most passionate part of your entire blog was when you taught in India (well that and getting stuck in the airport in Egypt, but I don’t think you could make a career out of that!) and I thought when I was reading that part “ah-ha! she’s found it!”
I’m also excited that you’ll be in NYC for 6 months. If I’m calculating correctly and it all works out I’ll see you in June!
And yes, I’m one of those weirdos that reads your blog religiously, and passes it on to her friends too!
Hang in there, NYC is just another stop on the journey!
–Lynn
If you are ever in Chicago, I will buy you drinks! I was a follower of your blog, and will continue to check in as you write and photograph more! Coming home is a downer. I was only on a three week trip recently and I had a rough couple of days coming back. I like your list. I made a mini list on my way home too – learn more spanish and take salsa lessons.