Ottsworld Travel Experiences » motorbike diaries

Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 17

admin — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 14:34:36 +0000

: Rush Hour

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

Resistance is Futile – Assimilation

I’m not sure how it happened, but I’ve become one of them. I wear a jacket (which I’m boiling in), a mask, a poncho, ….I’m a Vietnamese motorbike driver. I’ve become used to being squeezed into small places and driving through them. I can drive really slow and coast while keeping my balance. I can drive through flooded streets with my feet up on my seat so that my feet won’t get wet while still balancing the bike. I can dodge slow pedestrians. I can maneuver the bike into the narrowest parking spaces in alleys. I have learned how to honk to simply let someone know I’m ‘here’. In fact, I use my mirrors less and less and my horn more and more. Seriously – how the hell did this happen? I so vividly remember my first time I took the bike out of the living room and accelerated into this crazy motorbike culture scared to death.

I’m absolutely convinced I will have to retrain my brain to look left before turning right again as I don’t even get the urge to look left any longer. I’ve learned that you don’t wait for opportunities (for a lull in traffic) when driving in Vietnam, you make opportunities.

Me and my motorbike - and one flat tire...

Six months have gone by and now I’m able to do what I previously thought was impossible; I zone out. I actually look at stuff around me, notice new restaurants, can read street signs, and most of all I use the driving time to think. I’ve even been able to zone out the horns that are constantly honking at me. Nor am I shocked or horrified by what I see around me any longer – 4 people on a motorbike, a guy carrying a refrigerator on the back of his bike, a dog on the bike, or a boy standing on a bike seat behind the driver – yes, standing. However a boy sleeping between his parents on a motorbike in the pouring rain did catch my attention for a bit the other day. I think I was simply jealous of his ability to sleep in a impossible environment.

Last week I was so zoned out that I didn’t notice the broken glass that I ran over until it was too late – 2 flat tires…yes, 2. I pushed my bike to a corner that had a tire tube propped up on it (the Vietnamese symbol for tire fixer nearby) and 10 minutes and 75 cents later the guy had fixed the holes and I was off.

I find that I still do have a couple of ‘limits’ on what I won’t do. I won’t drive on a sidewalk; it pisses me off when other people do it while I’m trying to walk down the street, so I won’t be one of those people. I won’t go the wrong way down a one way street. (My high school driver-ed teacher would be so proud of me) I won’t carry a refrigerator, a flat screen TV or a computer on the back of my bike! However just recently I did find myself carrying a 30 lb backpack on my bike driving through flooded streets praying that I wouldn’t lose my balance. Finally, I won’t wear flip flops while driving as I’m too scared to lose one of them! I can’t tell you how many flip flops and sandals I see in the middle of the street; deposited there accidentally, never to see it’s other half again.

The most stunning thing is that I know it is my motorbike that I will miss the most out of everything in Vietnam. It is the thing that scared me the most and the thing that I loved the most about my time in Vietnam; which goes to show you – I’m completely dysfunctional. Learning to ride in Saigon was one of my goals, and even though it took me 5 months to get up the nerve to try and then 2 more weeks to actually take it out of my living room and put the key in the ignition; I conquered the fear, and for that I’m immensely thankful.
Video of my taking off on my bike after my flat tire was fixed.

Follow my motorbike journey from the beginning with the Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1 – Learning How to Drive a Motorbike in Vietnam

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 16

admin — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 15:45:36 +0000

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

You won’t believe your eyes this week! I’ve collected some of my recent motorbike photography that will amaze and baffle you. After living here for a year, I’m still absolutely dumbfounded and tickled by what I see the Vietnamese strap to their motorbikes. The motorbike culture here is the most unique in the world! If you don’t believe me – then just check out these photos!

Yup, that's a fridge strapped to his body...no special effects here!

Blankets - I have no idea how he can even turn the front wheel!

Bottled Up

A 7/11 on 2 Wheels

Line of Sight - How can this man see, let along turn?!

Tall and Flat - Let's hope they didn't have to go far as it looks rather uncomfortable!

Keyboards - You wondered where they all went...now you know...

Who's driving?

To see more Motorbike and Transportation photography from Vietnam, view my Global Photography Website!

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Like what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries vol. 17

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 15

admin — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:16:33 +0000

You're humming the song now - aren't you?

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

What’s in a Name?

I’m going to state the obvious – I’m a girl. What I mean by that is I can exhibit typical girl traits at times; especially when it comes to my knowledge of cars. As long as I can remember, I’ve never really been interested in cars (I mean really, aren’t shoes more interesting?). In fact the first car I bought was when I was 22 years old - a Ford Escort GT (the GT is very important I’m sure). I cared so little about cars that I kept it until I was 33 years old; when I finally donated it to charity since I was moving to NYC.

One of my first boyfriends in high school was a Mustang enthusiast. He had this cool old refurbished Mustang and I must admit, I liked riding around in it, but I never really understood his obsession with it. In fact, all I really knew about it was that it was an old Mustang; to me a Mustang was no different than a Honda Civic., it had four wheels and you used it to get from A to B. My boyfriend in college was also a car person, a Thunderbird owner. All I really remember about it was the color. It always amazed me when he would see a car on the street and know the make and model immediately and I would say…you mean that blue car over next to the red one? I have come to believe that all men are car people and I just never got that gene.

I’ve found the most interesting thing about cars isn’t the horsepower or even the color, but instead I’ve always been fascinated with the names. I wonder who comes up with all of those names that are supposed to invoke greatness, swiftness, efficiency, quality, power, and an element of cool; some marketing genius no doubt. Plus I was always fascinated with the chosen names and how they fit the personality of the car; Mustang vs. Escort…what more can I say.

Since motorbikes dominate in Vietnam, I’ve enjoyed being introduced to a whole new pack of names for vehicles which are also supposed to invoke swiftness, efficiency, quality, power, and an element of cool – all on two wheels. Here are a few of my favorites:

Honda Wave – the Toyota Corolla of motorbikes; the most seen model in town
Yamaha Nouvo (my motorbike!)
Honda Future
Honda Dream, DreamII, and Super Dream
Suzuki Best
Yamaha Sirius
Honda Airblade
Yamaha Jupiter
Honda Supercub
Kawasaki Max II
Honda Newfi
Suzuki Vivo

I personally think they should consider some new names such as the Honda Patience, or the Yamaha Wrong Way, or maybe the Suzuki Carry-Anything(and I mean ANYTHING). Then again, that might be a bit long…but hell, it’s accurate. Regardless, I’m sure that the various motorbike creative teams are working on the next exciting new set of names – I can hardly wait to see what they come up with next!

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Like what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries vol. 16

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 14

admin — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 02:00:33 +0000

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

The Great Horn Divide

No matter how hard I try, I just can’t do it. I lose the mental battle every time. I tell myself to be calm, patient, understanding – but then it happens – BEEP, BEEP BEEEEEP, BEEP, BEEP; and after the 3rd time of being serenaded by this noise I just can’t be mentally strong any longer. My culture seeps in and I inevitably get angry.

Horns take on a whole new meaning in Asia. I am constantly struggling to remind myself of that. One interesting thing about living abroad is that you become much more acutely aware of your own cultural habits and actions. I realize that my American culture is impatient and loud, and we like to eat sweet things for breakfast. We value equality and freedom to choose, we believe that sidewalks are there to keep pedestrians safe, we like rules but we love to challenge them in an organized manner, we like the ease of having a price tag tell us how much things cost, we love our privacy and personal space, and finally – we think a horn on a vehicle is there for emergencies and becomes an extension of our voice when we want to say “Look out!”, or “You idiot!”, or “Are you an imbecile?”, or my personal favorite “Fuck you!”

Asians in general are quiet, save face, don’t mind having no personal space, think that sidewalks are there to park and drive motorbikes (ok – this just applies to Vietnamese), they like savory things for breakfast, they follow rules and don’t question authority, they don’t mind bartering for everything, and they think a horn is there to nicely announce their presence – “Hey, I’m here on your right…just wanted to let you know.”, or “Hello there, I’m going to go around you now, so please don’t make any sudden movements.”

I’ve been able to deal with all of the other differences; however the ‘Great Horn Divide’ eludes me.

You are even asked to blow your horn!

I have been unable to retrain my brain on the meaning of horns. Yesterday as I drove my motorbike to work in rush hour traffic, I found myself on a one way street. The street had two lanes; the rule of thumb is that the cars/buses have the left lane to use and the motorbikes have the right lane to use. This works pretty well and keeps traffic moving; a must when there are 5 million motorbikes in a city of approximately 7 million people. This ‘left lane cars, right lane motorbikes’ means that if you are on a motorbike, you can generally get around quicker than by car. Motorbikes can be maneuvered easier than a car, so we zip along a little faster. Even though the cars are slower, they have air conditioning and protection from the rain and pollution; it’s all about trade-offs I guess.

As I was zipping down the right lane with the rest of the motorbikes, I became aware of a horn behind me – 3 little fast beeps – it kept getting closer and closer. I looked in my mirror to see what the commotion was and saw a white Mercedes in our right lane beeping at the motorbikes. The Mercedes was parting the sea of motorbikes by ‘politely’ and continuously beeping letting people know that they were coming through.

The beeping was getting on my nerves since my brain was interpreting it as “MOVE YOUR IDIOTS!” I had a little mental conversation with myself and said – this doesn’t mean that he’s yelling at you Sherry, this is just a polite gesture, this is actually a nice thing that he is doing…very nice….just a little warning…no problem…he’s not ‘talking’ to me personally, he’s talking to everyone.

The honking continued as he was right behind me now. I looked in my mirror again and became upset that he was in my motorbike lane for no reason other than to get to his destination faster as the left hand ‘car lane’ was moving slowly. However, I told myself to remain calm; I was doing nothing wrong, I was just driving along in my lane being beeped at. No other motorbike seemed to be moving out of the way much, the drivers had tuned out the horn noise and kept on going. I tried to tune out the horn noise by thinking of the incessant horn as if I were being serenaded nicely. Even though I had decided that I wasn’t going to make an effort to move for this car, I still wanted to try to see the horn as someone giving me a pleasant reminder and not someone yelling at me. I spoke to myself – “Find your inner Asian – Calm, calm, calm.”

The horn continued. My mental wall eventually crumbled and the American culture started invading my brain as the honking continued and continued. I was mad, I wanted to turn around and scream “Fuck you!” at the car. I imagined doing just that.

But I refrained. I let the anger roll around in my brain for a bit and didn’t allow it to come out of my mouth.

After I arrived at my destination I chastised myself for allowing myself to break under the horn pressure and allow my old culture to seep back inside my brain. However at the same time, I looked at it positively; I didn’t actually turn around and yell. I restrained.

Maybe I haven’t lost the battle after all. This could be the first step to making the cultural horn adjustment; only time will tell.

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Like what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries vol. 15

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 13

admin — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:59:06 +0000

Vietnam hand signal

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

The power of the hand…

I hopped on my motorbike tonight at 8:30 PM to find out that my headlight no longer worked. It would only work when I throttled the bike up – but after I slowed down, the light went out. This created an interesting strobe effect as I drove. So much for not trying to call attention to myself as a foreign driver! I shouldn’t be too surprised about the flukiness of the bike as the speedometer has never worked before, and I am convinced that that shocks are thee just for show.

Surprisingly one of the things that does work on my bike are the turn signals. However the locals don’t even use the signals on their bike. They opt instead to use their hand. I’m not talking about the ‘official’ hand turn signals that we use in the US; no, that would be way too organized! Instead they simply stick their hand out low and at an angle and normally wave it a bit as if they are ‘shooing’ off a fly.

Shortly after moving here, I was riding through a traffic circle the first time I saw this and had no idea what it meant. Little did I know that it was the universal sign for merging in Vietnam! Now as a motorbike driver I find that I naturally yield to the hand wave signal.

I haven’t quite figured out how to do the hand wave signal myself though. Granted, I know shaking your hand isn’t rocket science; it works pretty easily when you have a left hand turn as you right hand is always on the throttle. You can easily take your left hand off, do the hand shaking thing and turn. However I haven’t mastered this at all with the right hand – in fact, I have no idea how you would accomplish this!

Move over - I'm coming thru!

The hand turn signal clearly works best when there are two people on the motorbike. The driver doesn’t have to worry about signaling any turns, they just turn and leave the hand signaling to the passenger. It’s the true definition of a back seat driver! After living here for about 2 months and riding on the back of a motorbike taxi as my main form of transportation (before I became a master motorbike driver myself!), I often found myself doing the hand signals for the driver. It’s one of those things that initially you look at and think “What the hell are they doing?!” Then all of a sudden you find yourself adopting the action while sitting on the back of a bike wildly shaking your hand as you merge through a traffic circle in front of a bus. How does this happen?! It’s the same feeling I have when I am wearing a coat when it’s 88 degrees out; wonder how this foreign, crazy culture has crept into you.

I think the hand wave signal has it’s origins in pedestrian crossing here. When the traffic is particularly heavy and pedestrians cross the street, they tend to put up their hand and wave it so that you’ll somehow miraculously see them among the mass of motorbikes speeding along. ‘Hey, hey – look at me, I’m crossing the street!”

I guess the hand wave signals are just a way to call attention to yourself – and when you drive among 5 million motorbikes, trust me, you need to get their attention somehow!

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Like what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries vol. 14

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 12

admin — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 15:58:17 +0000

Motorbike Mirrors...what are they good for?

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

Mirror Mirror on the motorbike, what is your purpose; are you just there for decoration? Unfortunately after driving a motorbike in HCMC for the last 3 months, I feel as if I’m the only person here who uses my motorbike mirrors for their intended purpose; to see things behind you and in your blind spot. Yes, that’s right; the poor motorbike mirror is seldom used. Why you ask? I don’t know if I have an answer for that. It goes on my list of “Unexplained Oddities in Vietnam” with things like:

Why is there always a shower curtain rod but no shower curtain in bathrooms in Vietnam?
Why do parents put mosquito nets on children’s heads in place of a helmet?
Why does everyone use short little chairs and tables that look like they are for kids?
Why are there tons of brothels, but I never see anyone going in them?

Back to mirrors, I suppose it has something to do with the fact that the locals driving responsibility is determined by angles. Imagine you are on a motorbike looking straight in front of you. There are other motorbikes all around you weaving in and out…yes…be scared, be very scared. However for the locals there is no reason to ever be scared because you are technically responsible for about 45degrees to either side of you…46 degrees…who cares…not your responsibility.

That big truck bearing down behind you – don’t worry. If you want to move to the right of the road while you on currently on the left, don’t worry, just take a steady 45 degree angle and the motorbike seas will part as if you are Moses and you will get to the right side. Actually, I once heard someone describe driving in Vietnam akin to being in a school of fish. I honestly think that’s quite accurate. Fish don’t turn their head and look behind them, they just move in this weird flowing unison. That’s how traffic here works – we are all fish.

Mirrors turned inward

After driving in the US for 16 years, it’s ingrained in me to be responsible for more than 45 degrees…hence – why I use mirrors. I like knowing what’s behind me, call me old fashioned or a stupid foreigner; I don’t want to give up my mirrors! I must admit though, when I’m in heavy traffic – I sometimes talk to myself and tell myself “I’m a fish, just swimming here with my friends, we all move as one. I’m a fish, I’m a fish.” I know it’s strange, but it does seem to help keep me calm in times where any normal westerner would be quite tense and nervous!

Most of the people that I see driving don’t have mirrors, or maybe they only have one mirror that looks like it’s pointed at the sky. Then there are the drivers that actually have mirrors, but they choose to point them towards each other so they don’t get in the way of their driving; the mirrors seem to be considered a nuisance most of the time.

The part that I don’t get is that there are many, many vendors along the side of the road selling motorbike mirrors. Simply stop, pay a couple of bucks and screw in your new mirror…presto. But I don’t really understand the supply and demand here, who’s buying them?!

Motorbike accessories for sale

Regardless, every day when I get on my bike, I turn the key, press the break, hit the automatic start button, give it throttle, and check the mirrors and put them in position. This is the point where my neighbors laugh at me….up until then it actually appeared as if I knew what I was doing! With a big sigh…I hit the roads again, always keeping an eye on what’s behind me, but trying to tell myself to ‘forget it’ and just swim with the fishes!

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Like what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries – vol. 13

A Little Rant About Traffic

admin — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:57:02 +0000

Pecking Order

One of the disadvantages of living a solo life is that when you have one of those experiences that you just want to tell someone about – there’s normally no one around to listen. So, instead of bottling it all in, I blog; which makes me feel as if I’m telling someone the story, yet it does kind of lack a conversational feel if I can’t see or hear people’s reaction. Hell, it’s the best thing I got though – so here goes.

While driving from District 2 to District 1, I was caught in a horrendous traffic mess today. This is kind of the norm for here, but it seemed to be particularly bad today. Maybe I was just in a shit mood because I was short on sleep, hadn’t had any coffee, and had missed my yoga class due to a schedule change. Not a good start, but when I came upon the mess of traffic near the construction zone, I immediately knew that my day was going to get worse.

This particular stretch of road (if you can call it that) is always a problem as it’s all torn up from construction and there are only two ‘lanes’ that wind around the construction. The potholes are large and feel like they will swallow my little motorbike tire. It probably only lasts for ¼ of a mile, however when you are on a little motorbike surrounded by huge semi trucks and beeping buses with no regard for you – it feels like a 5 mile stretch.

The ‘lanes’ are supposed to provide a place for cars and motorbikes – however during rush hour it appears that whomever has the most mass wins…which normally means that the bikes get squeezed out to the small, narrow space between lanes/vehicles, effectively making the bikes single file while the big, fat cars and trucks take up all of the lanes.

As a side note, I have found that the more I drive here the more upset I get when a car/bus is in the bike lane; it drives me crazy. I think most of the private cars and taxis are being driven by drivers toting around business people. The passengers sit back and read their papers while their drivers are encroaching on my space. I wonder what they would think if they were in my position – on a bike getting squeezed out of their rightful space by an oversized SUV or taxi. Then again – the concept of ‘rights’ doesn’t exist here.

As I sat in this big traffic mess of semis, buses, private cars/SUV’s, motorbikes, bicycles, cement trucks, and the random pedestrian, I had a lot of time to think. In addition, I had a lot of time to inhale way too much exhaust fumes. I thought about how in most countries there is a traffic pecking order regarding rights. The rules generally go that if you come across a vehicle that is smaller or has less power than you, you give them right of way. This is how it works in sailing…the sailboat has right of way to boats with motors. Pedestrians and bikes tend to have right of way to other vehicles as they are weaker and slower and can’t maneuver as quickly. This makes sense. Give the little guy a break.

However the pecking order of right-of-way is generally lost in most of Asia. In the land where there are no queues, there are also no rights for the ‘little guy’. In fact – it’s kind of opposite here. The trucks with the loudest horns and presence simply move right on through a traffic situation without slowing down and the sea parts for them – mainly due to fear on my part. The same for pedestrians – they are the lowest in the pecking order here. They are like ants, just scurrying for cover when the big ‘foot’ comes through.

So I sit, sucking in exhaust fumes, pissed that a car is in my lane backing everything up; I want to scream at them…but I know that will get me nowhere..so I try to stay calm. The rest of the motorbike drivers have taken to driving up on the sidewalk – the only real place left to go as we are squeezed out by the cars. The pedestrians on the sidewalk scurry and the motorbikes eventually get all jammed up on the sidewalk.

The picture looks like this: 2 ‘lanes’ of beat up pot-holed road filled with big trucks and suvs, a few scattered motorbikes between the rows of vehicles (that’s where I am), a sea of motorbikes driving on the sidewalk, and the pedestrians pushed up against the store fronts with no where to go. The pedestrians are the low man in the pecking order and they ultimately loose out.

Deep breath…calm…patience; this is the mantra that I’m trying to force through my mind. Yet I feel like screaming at everyone – I try to find my ‘inner-Asian’ and be calm. I’d like to think that my patience level is better than average after living here for 8 months, however my patience is lost when I feel like my own personal safety is at risk. After 20 minutes of trying to get through the ¼ mile without getting flattened like a pancake and with the incessant honking of horns, the construction area ends, the road opens up and we are all freed to take off.

As I throttle up to speed, I try to suck some fresh air into my lungs. I think, it’s only 9:30 in the morning, but I could really use a martini right now.

If you have a rant to share about traffic in Vietnam, please leave a comment and get it off your chest!

The Motorbike Diaries – vol. 11

admin — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:41:22 +0000

Photo taken prior to the Helmet law in 2007

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

What the Helllllllmet?

Whenever I get on my bike and take off into the street I always have a small wave of panic come over me. I feel like I forgot something. I feel strangely exposed; one might say naked. Then the beeping horns jolt me back into the present and I remember I don’t have a car door to close or a seatbelt to put on. It’s just me perched on this motorbike totally exposed; except for my helmet that I’ve grown to love and hate.

Hate: It’s hot and gives my hair that lovely ‘helmet head’ look.
Love: It will save my brain (and life) from crashing into the pavement.

The loveliest unprotected mother daughter duo out there...what great smiles!

I guess I can accept a bad hair day in order to protect my head. After all, I’ve given up on vanity in this country anyway…it’s pointless.

As much as I love and value my helmet, I can’t say that the Vietnamese people feel the same way about their helmets. I picked up the local English paper the other day and came across an article entitled “Draft decree extends fines for helmet law violations”. Granted, the title wasn’t too catchy, but it is translated news after all. I learned that the helmet law was only put in place here in 2007 which explains why many people still don’t wear helmets in Vietnam, it’s still a pretty new concept.

Kids without helmets; advertising campaign watching over them

One of the first things I noticed when I moved here was the advertising campaign in place to promote helmet usage. From what I can tell they have taken famous Vietnamese celebrities and photographed them with helmets on. I kind of doubt that a famous Vietnamese celebrity would be driving a motorbike, but you never know in this country. It would be like Paris Hilton driving a Ford Taurus; not likely. They also have billboards with adults wearing helmets and their young children also wearing a helmet. The first time I saw this in advertisement I didn’t need to know any Vietnamese to understand the message it was trying to get across. However it is one of the main ‘laws’ here that is blatantly ignored. Seventy-five percent of the children I see riding on motorbikes don’t have a helmet on, yet the parents are wearing one. Much like a rubiks cube, I will never make sense of this.

Buckle up...this guys helmet will do him no good.

I found that I couldn’t put the Helmet Article down, it was the first time I was getting a glimpse into some of the traffic laws around here. I read on and learned there are new helmet and road traffic laws that will go into effect in July. There are road traffic laws…who knew? The current helmet law only enforces helmets for people 16 years and older, but in July that will change requiring all kids to wear helmets regardless of age. If they don’t have a helmet, they risk getting fined $6 to $11 US Dollars. I can’t say that it’s much of a deterrent, however, for the local Vietnamese it probably is. Personally I think they may need to be a bit more specific about the law, such as you must wear and fasten your helmet; so many people just place it on their head and never even engage the strap…a bit pointless, but I guess it’s like not wearing your seatbelt in a car….stupid.

In addition to the new ageless helmet law, there are “several other acts that are deemed illegal”. You can no longer leave sharp objects and slippery substances on the road. You can no longer threaten or coerce passengers to use transport services. Finally, my personal favorite, you can no longer fake your license plates. Apparently this was all legal before; slightly disturbing!

3 on a bicycle, no problem

Next there is a whole series of new laws about passengers on motorbikes. Currently you see 3 or 4 people on one motorbike. Normally it’s a family, but sometimes it’s 3 adults…a bit too cozy for me. However the new laws state that the 3rd person on the motorbike must be under 14 and for bicycles the person must be under 7. Hold on a sec…let that sink in…yes, it is possible to fit 3 people on a bicycle.

Reading on I learn that it is however legal to carry 3 adults on a motorbike when carrying a patient to the hospital or escorting a criminal. Do you really want to escort a criminal on the back of your motorbike with another adult? Really? I’m obviously missing something here in the translation!

The funniest part of the article for me was that vehicles will now be fined for failing to give way to pedestrians and wheelchairs on crosswalks; the fine is $3. After living here 8 months, even I know that crosswalks are absolutely useless. In reality Pedestrians don’t any right of way. But at least I got a good chuckle out of reading about the new pedestrian friendly laws.

It was an informative and entertaining article all around. Yet I believe the pictures that I’ve included here speak for themselves…I doubt that I see any difference starting on July 1st, but at least the government is trying to do the right thing…so I will give them recognition for that. However, trying and actually accomplishing it is another story.

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Like what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries – vol. 12

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 10

admin — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:20:06 +0000

The law...

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

Patience and the Law
I drove over to my favorite cheap eats restaurant in the Backpacker Area in District 1, Lam Café on Bui Vien Street. When I say cheap eats…I mean it…I can get lemon grass beef with rice and a mango smoothie for $2 US. Change that smoothie to a beer and it’s $2.25…hooray! My driving route to Lam’s takes me through one of the busiest intersections in District 1 – Tran Hung Dao Ave and Nguyen Thai Hoc St.

As I was coming upon this ultra busy intersection, I looked ahead and saw that it was much more of a mess than it normally was. Bikes and cars were backed up everywhere; but it was too late to turn around now. Actually, I lie, you can always turn around in HCMC, there are no rules about flipping a U-turn or driving the wrong way down a street, or driving down a sidewalk for that matter. But I try to avoid these things whenever possible. I feel like I’m doing my good deed to Vietnamese society by following driving rules and setting a good example. Considering the fact that I seem to be a spectacle out on the road as everyone can’t help but stare at me, it seems as if at least I should do something good if I have their attention…right? Ok – back to the intersection, trouble is looming ahead and I have kept you hanging…

As I slow down and assess the situation I realize that the traffic signal light is out, no power, another common situation here. So, here’s the ingredients – one cup cars, one quart of motorbikes, ½ cup of bicycles, a tablespoon of bus, mixed with a bowl of no electricity, spread across the busiest intersection in HCMC District 1. Don’t forget to throw in a dash of the standard Asian culture of no personal space or queuing, and a pinch of horns…and you have a recipe for disaster.

Bikes, cars, and motorbikes intermingle

I walked my way through this clusterfuck (sorry, I really have no other word for it) with my bike. I don’t mean that I got off my bike and walked…no, no…that’s not how you do it here. Instead you walk the bike while still on the bike; this basically means that you inch along with both feet on the ground taking little, slow steps getting nowhere fast. You provide a little throttle when you see a 12 inch space in front of you, and then continue to walk. It took me 15 solid minutes to get through the mess. Of course there wasn’t a cop to be seen anywhere, and of course no one was being reasonable about letting people through, instead we all sat there for 5 minutes at 90 degree angles with no one budging. Of course in true form I seemed to be the only person that was annoyed by this mess and by the inhalation of way too much exhaust. The locals…they just slowly inched along taking every centimeter of space they could when it opened up.

After getting through the intersection completely stressed out, I moved on to Lam Cafe. I was sort of trying to decide if $2 lunch was really worth this or not. I happily pulled up to Lam Café, parked my bike out in front on the street as everyone does and went to sit at a table (there are only 3, so it’s pretty quaint). I go to Lam Café quite often, so they do know me and welcome me kindly as usual. I order my usual, and start grading papers…my usual routine.

I look up and a few more people pull up and park their bikes and come inside. Thirty seconds later I look up from my coconut smoothie and English papers to see that 6 cops have pulled up on motorbikes and are looking at the motorbikes in front of Lam’s. Hmmm – I decide not to get alarmed, after all, I just made it through the intersection from hell; really, could anything else be that bad? The owners of Lam came out and started talking to the police. This quickly turned to shouting (or at least it seemed as if they were shouting – but it’s hard to decipher when it’s in another language!) Everyone huddled around the 3 motorbikes, yelling, motioning…I kept grading papers keeping one eye on my bike and trying to be calm about whatever was happening that clearly had to do with the bikes. The other two customers came out to see what was happening and they ended up leaving….not a good sign.

Motorbikes parked on the street

A part of me was really pissed off. Why weren’t these cops out directing the clusterfuck intersection that I just walked through? The intersection was only 2 blocks from Lam Café. After all, there were 6 of them, did they all need to be here harassing the people of Lam Café? Then again, harassing people would be much easier than trying to clear up the mess I suppose. As the yelling continued, the law eventually won and I saw the mother bring out money and pay the cops. I tried to ask one of the daughters what was happening. She explained in broken English that it’s illegal to park along the street, so they were fined. I felt terrible. But seriously…everyone parks on the street on Bui Vien. It’s as common as having rice with a meal, or ants in your kitchen. I absolutely couldn’t believe that the police were deciding to enforce this instead of all of the other true ‘wrongs’ that happen in the city – such as driving on the sidewalk, running stop lights, not giving pedestrians the right of way, people driving without helmets, driving the wrong way down streets, turning right from the left lane…seriously – I could go on and on.

The owners of Lam moved one of their 3 tables off the sidewalk and place it inside, then they moved my bike up on the sidewalk, where it’s apparently legal to park. Yup, you read that right. Sidewalks aren’t there for pedestrians to walk, they are for parking motorbikes; this makes complete sense. Then again, not many things make sense here, it’s Vietnam after all. It doesn’t pay to waste effort on trying to make sense of some of it, you just have to accept. This is one of the greatest skills I have learned in all of my worldly travels and living abroad in Vietnam; don’t question, don’t get upset – just accept. Patience is not something that we Americans have; yet it’s required here to survive. I think this is one of the reasons why I blog…to let out all of the frustrations that build up in my patience bank during the week!

I finished my yummy lunch and paid my $2. I tried to give the owners some money for the fine, but they wouldn’t think of accepting it. The young boy just said “Just come back again.” Done.

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

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The Motorbike Diaries – vol. 11

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 9

admin — Fri, 08 May 2009 01:26:06 +0000

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

View photography of motorbikes in rainy season!

Poncho Fashion

Move over Project Runway, Vietnam has Project Poncho! Ok, I am joking, however it would be a great idea for a show here! There is one thing that I like about the rainy season , the ponchos. There is a whole poncho industry here that’s I’ve never seen before. I myself own 3 ponchos; something I never thought I would say.

Get in touch with your inner stripper:
These are the cheap, one time use ponchos. Normally purchased because you forgot your good poncho and just got caught in a downpour. They are basically flimsy pull-apart plastic bags. I imagine that when it gets done raining you rip it off as if you were a Chippendale dancer ripping off your pants.

Flimsy Poncho

See the light:
They have ponchos that are specifically for motorbikes with a little clear square area in front that is for your motorbike headlight. This way you can drape your poncho over the front of your motorbike and still have the headlight shine through…isn’t that safety-minded?! Actually it’s the only thing I’ve seen here that’s safety-minded.

Headlight Poncho

Two heads are better than one:
This is my favorite poncho; the two-headed poncho. This is used when two people are riding a motorbike in the rain. That way you can both sit on the bike and easily share the same poncho because it has two holes for two heads…ingenious!

Siamese Twins!

Suit up:
If you are feeling rather well-off and have money to burn, then you’ll want to look into the rain suit. This is by far the best, driest alternative! A full jacket and pants, complete with reflective tape!

: A proper rain suit

Huddle Up:
If you don’t have the money to invest in the two headed poncho, then you must have one poncho and have the person in back huddle underneath the driver’s poncho. Seriously – I don’t know one single American that would ever do this; it’s a bit insane. However of course I found myself doing this here. As if riding a motorbike in the rain isn’t scary enough, now imagine huddling underneath someone’s poncho being forced to simply look at the wet pavement underneath you as you drive down the road weaving in and out of traffic…hello…most people would be puking from motion sickness. I have $100 my sister-in-law would be vomiting in 4 minutes!

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Motorbike Diaries vol – 10

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 8

admin — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:38:51 +0000

The real deal...

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

If you want to know how to get your own Vietnam Motorbike License without bribing an official – check out Vietnam Motorbike License website!

My motorbike license recently arrived proving that bribing officials here actually works. See, you learn something new every day in Vietnam. Of course the whole license is in Vietnamese and I can’t read a thing but my name. For all I know the rest could say “Sucker! This rich foreigner thinks this is a real license. Take her bike and demand more money.”

Note to self…have someone translate license.

The license arrived just in time because the gossip traveling through the expat community in HCMC is the police are ‘cracking down’ on foreign drivers. I find that slightly disturbing since I think that we, foreign drivers, are probably some of the safest drivers in the city compared to the locals. Most of the time I find I’m the only one waiting at a red light, while everyone zips by me with their horns blaring totally ignoring the stop light. I still have a hard time blatantly ignoring stop lights; too many years of conditioning I guess.

See, I actually do take it out of my living room!

The good news is that I’m getting into the groove with the motorbike. I’ve improved in many ways. I’ve listed my top accomplishments in the last few weeks. Sure, they might seem trivial, but trust me, these aren’t trivial things to me; these are major accomplishments!

1. I can get it in and out of my apartment myself now without one of my neighbors having to help me.
2. I am no longer the slowest person on the road, I’ve learned that speeding up is actually a good thing. Aggressive driving here is key. In fact, I’m fascinated by the fact that the Vietnamese are never really in a hurry. My old driving instincts have resurfaced and I find that I get annoyed with slow drivers just looking around.
3. I have conquered the rain…ok – I’m embellishing a bit, it wasn’t a huge storm, but it did require me to pull over to the side, get out my purple rain poncho from under my seat and become one of the masses driving a motorbike in a rain poncho.
4. I’ve learned how to drive up a curb under control. Basically this means that I’ve learned how to park on the sidewalk which is a necessity here. This requires going up on the curb which sounds easy, but when you still aren’t very sure of your throttle control, it’s a bit stressful! I’m always worried that I’m going to ‘gun it’ too much and go straight through the glass window in front of me!
5. I’ve become one with my horn! Yup, that’s right, if you are going to drive any type of vehicle in Asia, you have to learn how to use your horn. The horn is your way to communicate – mine normally says “um…hello, I’m trying to merge through the traffic circle”, or “howdy, just want to let you know that I’m on your left in your blindspot so please don’t run over me”, or “don’t even think about pulling out in front of me.”, or finally “HEY! Get out of my f’ing way!”.
6. I’ve learned how to do the Vietnamese right turn…it’s actually quite easy. You don’t signal, you don’t slow down, you don’t look; instead, you simply act as if you are the only person on the road and you just turn without any checking or hesitation. This is also how you generally turn onto the road from a driveway or sidewalk too.
7. I’ve learned (maybe attempted is a better word!) how to drive at rush hour at night and quite frankly, it’s terrifying! Especially when you have to go through traffic circles and dodge buses. You end up walking on your bike for most of the time while sucking up noxious fumes = no fun.

Things I’m still trying to master:

1. Driving a passenger on my bike. I actually practiced this last weekend. I had a friend that was crazy enough to let me try this. Her thought was that I would be safer to ride with than the locals…I’m not too sure about that, but I was honored that she thought so! We went to a secluded district and practiced. It was quite different as the balance on the bike was drastically different to get used to and I found that it took longer to stop the bike (my college physics still do come in handy once in a while)! Toting around passengers will definitely need some more practice before I’m ready to do it in the heart of the city!
2. Left turns still are still a challenge to me. Granted, I’m improving, but I still have a ways to go. Left turns are easy if you have a posse of motorbikes to turn left with. Then I nicely tuck into the posse as if I belong there and go with them letting them pull out first and stop the traffic. Yes, I’m using them…but you would too in this situation. When you don’t have a posse, then it gets infinitely harder. That requires me to go out alone and try to inch across oncoming traffic. There are not ‘turn signals’ (nor are there turn lanes) here that keep the traffic stopped while a group of people turn left. Nope, you are on your own…you turn left like you cross the street, slowly, slowly. Inch out, and watch the oncoming traffic, inch out some more, inch out some more so that now you are in the middle and the traffic is now going around both sides of you as if you were Moses trying to part the Red Sea and it’s closing in behind you. Keep inching, and finally someone will give you a break and go around the back of you and you can zip across.
3. Trying to read street signs and drive is next to impossible for me. That means that my motorbike riding is still somewhat limited to the places I know how to get to. Trying to find a new place is stressful beyond belief. I still don’t know what half of the signs say and there’s not a ‘shoulder’ to pull over on and get your map out. Oh, if I only had motorbike GPS…that would be awesome!

I have to admit, everyday I’m out on the motorbike I wish that I could take all of my blog readers with me to experience it with me. I fantasize about ways that I could duck tape my camera on the front and take video somehow without people trying to steal it! Trust me, if I figure out how to do that, you’ll be the first to know! Until then, you just have to take my word for it!

If you want to learn how to get your own Vietnamese motorbike license – then check out this great site – Vietnam Motorbike License!

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The Motorbike Diaries – vol. 9

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 7

admin — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:48:34 +0000

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

I’m on the road and my motorbike is parked in my living room having a vacation! I thought I would put out this post though since it pertains to motorbikes and Vietnam. Stay tuned for more Motorbike Diaries and travel posts when I return from my trekking in the Philippines!

Shop for and Purchase Bikes of Burden

Who needs a trunk and four wheels – it’s overrated!

As you all know – I am fascinated with the motorbike culture in Vietnam. I’ve taken many hours watching traffic in complete amazement. I have tried to capture this crazy phenomenon in photos and in video – but I have a hard time doing it justice. However I recently came across this book – Bikes of Burden by Hans Kemp. Hans had to log hours and hours on a motorbike to get these shots…his poor lungs!

It’s simply a photobook, but it does the best job of capturing what the motorbike culture is like. These pictures depict what I see every day here. If you are looking for a book for a Vietnam enthusiasts or a motorbike enthusiast – check this out! It’s great coffee table conversation!
Preview it on Amazon – Bikes of Burden

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The Motorbike Diaries – vol. 8

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 6

admin — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:13:59 +0000

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

It’s the weekend and that means that it’s time to get on my motorbike again and join the sea of 2 wheels. I’d like to say that it was easier this time, but I don’t know that it was. It was a good practice session though and I was able to accomplish a few ‘firsts’ which is always important!

I drove it to a restaurant and parked it. I know this doesn’t sound like rocket science, but you have to understand that for the last 6 months here I have been living a walking life…one in which you don’t have to park. Just consider the fact when you live in NYC and don’t own a car, you have no idea where the gas stations are because it’s not something you utilize…ever. So, figuring out parking was just a new adventure.

For most restaurants and shops parking is simply on the sidewalk , and it’s sort of valet parking in a way. Every shop/restaurant has a guy who is paid to sit out front and watch motorbikes and organize the parking. You pull up on the curb (first you must find the part of the curb that you can pull up onto (a ramp of sorts), you drive down the sidewalk and stop in front of the shop, get off, and the parking guy comes over from eating his Pho and gives you a ticket with a number. The parking guy then writes the number on your seat in some white crayon substance and he then takes the bike. You leave your helmet there with the bike. All easy…but a bit intimidating the first time. I actually have a friend who tried to pull up on the curb once without a ramp and ran into the window of the establishment! See – there’s always something that can go wrong!

My second rookie adventure was to actually drive through a traffic circle. Don’t roll your eyes…just look at this video.

Buses, cars, motorbikes, bicycles, and pedestrians all merge..terror! I didn’t take the easy route, I never do, so I went to the busiest traffic circle in front of Ben Thanh Market. As I arrived, I took a deep breath, put my left thumb poised on the horn button and my remaining fingers on the break…and jumped in! I made it – I actually got in and got out without having to circle the round-about again!

My last act of courage was to find a gas station and fill up the tank. They don’t have self serve here. In fact, like most things the gas station is rather chaotic – no real queuing, just push your way up front, flash some Dong, and hopefully you will get served. One would think that I would be great at this considering this skill was a necessity in NYC in order to get a drink at a busy bar. Wave a $20 around and try to show cleavage and hope the bartender was straight. (for all of my friends who are laughing right now…yes, I know I embellished on the cleavage…but can’t you let me dream?)

Even though I was good at this skill in NYC bars, I wasn’t riding up on a motorbike trying to get the bartenders attention – so getting the gas station attendants attention was harder than it seemed. Plus, I’m still not the best at a nice even acceleration from a stop; I’m still getting used to the throttle and trying to get rid of the jerkiness that ensues. Inching up in between masses of motorbikes require a little more finesse than what I have right now…and don’t even get me started about the art of backing up! He filled up my little tank for 31,000 Dong…I have no idea if this is a good price or a bad price…or even the right price – I just paid it and got out of there trying not to run over anyone’s foot!

After the gas station stop, I drove out to one of my friend’s house in another district and made it out there at my granny pace. I was relieved to still be in one piece and I was drenched with sweat due to the mid day sun. Motorbikes don’t have air conditioning! I survived all of my rookie maneuvers, feeling slightly more comfortable with life on a bike, but I still have a ways to go!

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

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The Motorbike Diaries – vol. 7

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 5

admin — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 09:16:34 +0000

Bypassing the Government

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

The motorbike has been rather stationary lately. Very stationary. Okay – I haven’t moved it for 5 days. How did a whole week go by and I haven’t touched the bike? Fear, laziness, excuses, tired; all of the above. I’ve been focused on other becoming legal instead.

License to drive; one would think that I would need one of these., but then again, this is Asia and there really are no rules. In fact, when Mr. Linh dropped by the motorbike he showed me how to start the bike and he showed me how to bribe policemen. I’m not embellishing this – I promise. He actually gave me guidance on how to bribe officers if I was pulled over. I was never taught this when I was 16 years old in drivers ed. In fact, all I can remember about drivers ed is my teacher making me drive to Mr. Donut so he could get a bear claw donut and coffee.

Apparently, all you need to drive in HCMC is a motorbike, and about 200,000 dong to slip into an officer’s hand in a inconspicuous manner. That’s good news because my American driver’s license had expired as of my birthday last month. However, considering the expiration date says 02/12/2009 the world actually sees this as December 2nd, not February 12th, so I have cultural differences on my side. Then again, an American drivers license really does me no good here as no one follows the driving rules I learned anyway. Whenever you are in semi-developed country you are better off forgetting everything you learned at home; life is just easier that way.

Regardless, I’m a law abiding citizen of the world, so I started to look into how to get a Vietnamese drivers license. Long story short, it’s not easy. My eyes started glazing over at the site of the 10 steps that it took which included things like having your old license translated, going to the ministry of ‘driving’ and waiting in line all day. I would bet $1000 that the DMV in the states would look like a cake walk compared to the licensing here.

Therefore when a friend at my school offered up a shortcut on how to get a drivers license I bit. She knew someone that knew someone that knew someone that would make a Vietnamese license for a small fee. All you needed was 6 passport pictures, a copy of your passport and 1.3 million Dong; corruption at it’s best. Considering it had been about 18 years since I had a fake license, it seemed like a good time to join the wrong side of the law again.

I paid my 1.3 million Dong, handed over my necessary pictures and papers and hoped that some Vietnamese government office worker wasn’t going to run away with my money. Granted, I wasn’t the only one who did this; twelve of us from my school decided to put our faith in corruption and try it. Apparently I will find out in about 3 weeks whether I was scammed or not. In the meantime, I simply have to continue dodging the law and hope that my fake Vietnamese license is as effective as my fake college license!

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

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The Motorbike Diaries – vol. 6

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 4

admin — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 02:59:07 +0000

Right Turns...

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

Sunday…today is the day it has to happen. No rain, no motorbikes in my way, just the hot sun beating down on the pavement and the open road beckoning me for adventure. Well, actually I’d like to believe that it was beckoning me…but it was hard to hear over the noise of my inner fear. However my pride won out and I knew that today had to be the day I got on that damn bike and joined the motorbike masses.

I waited until lunch time, the traffic wasn’t too busy, and before I could really think about it, I just went. It’s like jumping into a cold lake. You can’t just dip your toe in or you’ll brain will take over and screw everything up. You need beckon your pride and use your heart and just go for the adrenaline rush and do it…jump!

I put on my sunscreen, and my best helmet. I put my insurance card in the front of my wallet, and I put the medical center biz card right behind it that says all of the directions in Vietnamese; and I jumped in. Off I went. I drove around the block about 3 times trying to get used to the turns on the bike, the acceleration, and simply having to pay attention to road signs and traffic lights again; something I never have to do on a Xe-om. I tested out the horn and learned how to turn off the turn signal. I was doing ok – yet I had only made right turns to that point! I ventured down a few other roads with more traffic and tried to get used to not worrying about what was behind me or on my side; it seems as if the only space you are responsible for here is the space directly in front of you (12 o’clock) and the space from 10 to 12 and 12 to 2…everything else doesn’t matter. You don’t do a check over your shoulder when you move over, you just move over and everyone moves out of your way as if you all travel in a giant wave and are all somehow connected.

This is really rather counterintuitive to me. I like side mirrors, I like over the shoulder checks, I like to know who’s in my space around me so I found this hard to let go. But you need too else when you look over your shoulder to move over, you will run into the person in front of you.

I decided it was time to take some left turns so I pointed the bike towards District 2 where I had friends and there was some empty road out there where I could practice more turns and get better balance. This meant that I had to drive about 15 minutes on the big road that led out of town along with big trucks and buses…and plenty of motorbikes. It also meant that I had to cross bridges with little narrow bike lanes. I had done this a million times on the back of a xe-om, but never by myself.

I was a granny driver…I stayed on the far right of the road and puttered along slowly as other bikes sped past me. Heck, even the guys carrying big palettes of flowers on the back of their bikes passed me…I was a slow poke. I had a strange feeling of being 16 again; the feeling of being behind the wheel for the first time alone. It was a feeling of independence yet I was ultra sensitive to every movement and action around me trying to figure out how I fit into the moving puzzle. God – that was 23 years ago…shit…déjà vu but with wrinkles now.

Family vehicle - complete with a child 'seat'

The granny driver made it over the bridge slow but fine and then navigated through the busy intersections. I stopped at my friend’s house and had some much needed lunch. I wasn’t feeling exuberant about my driving experience, but I was feeling a cautious optimism.

There were only a few times where I panicked because a car pulled out in front of me and I knew I needed to stop – but my brain hadn’t retrained itself yet to know that the break wasn’t at my foot – it was at my hand. A weird feeling when for a split moment you know you need to stop, but can’t remember how to do it.

While at my friends place it poured rain, which made me really nervous to get all the way home again. I waited out the rain, and got back on the bike to go driving through puddles back to my apartment. When I got back into town, I felt a little brave. I decided to take another spin around the block to experience more city traffic. I went down a little motorbike road and there were a bunch of motorbikes going the wrong way and coming towards me. I was a little peeved because the road was already narrow, but I slowly inched by. The fact that they were driving the wrong way down the road didn’t even phase me – that’s normal here. However when I got to the end and turned the corner onto the larger road, there were the police pulling people over! Shit! I’m a foreigner without a license that barely knows how to drive a motorbike…shit, shit, shit.

My tactic…pretend like I didn’t know how to stop (that’s not too far from the truth)! Actually, I slowed down for a minute as they were point to various people with their sticks and making them pull over, and one of them looked at me, I just gave that confused ‘I don’t understand’ look and kept going…never looking back! I was a little worried that Ponch was going to get on his bike and track me down, but no one ever came after me, However , next time I go to the post office I’m a bit worried I will find my face on a wanted poster! After that, I made a bee line home! I tucked the bike safely back away in my living room with the help of my roommate. Damn that bike is heavy!!! I even sprained my wrist trying to get it inside!

All I can say is – I deserve a beer. And I need more practice…baby steps, baby steps…

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

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Motorbike Diaries – vol. 5

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 3

admin — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 11:11:24 +0000

Reproductive Bikes

Start from the Beginning - Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

Obstacles. Today was the day, the day I was supposed to take the motorbike out and practice. Yet from the moment I stepped outside today I had obstacles in my way. In my little alleyway that leads to my apartment were about 15 parked motorbikes. Somehow the two that are normally out there reproduced over night. Luckily my motorbike didn’t reproduce in my living room as there would be absolutely no more space in my narrow little apartment. Thank God for birth control.

This mass motorbike reproduction posed a problem for my weekend practice plans; I didn’t really have a good way to get the bike out! Granted – I could have gone over and mimed to the neighbors (who don’t speak English) that I needed the other bikes moved and they would have happily helped me and the problem would have been solved. However in my massive neurosis about driving a motorbike, I had somehow envisioned that I would be able to quietly sneak out of my little alley without people noticing, and without calling any attention to myself. Don’t ask me why I wanted this…I just did. I wanted to be invisible. Asking people to move bikes and then having to push my bike past a whole wedding party was not the attention that I wanted.

So I waited. I worked instead and decided that I would go out later in the afternoon when all of the commotion had calmed down in the alley. Plan B sounded good; wait and work.

While I was waiting and working, I heard it…the deep rumble of thunder.

Soon the skies opened up and the rains came down….for hours and hours. My afternoon practice was rained out. If you simply think that I’m being a wimp about melting in the rain – check this video of Saigon motorbikes in the rain from Backpacking Teacher, another teacher and blogger around here. Mother Nature apparently doesn’t want me to learn to drive a motorbike.

Plan C – wait and work and go out around 10PM when the rain would be over, the streets dry, and the traffic would be very minimal. HCMC pretty much closes up around 10PM at night, so it’s a good time to practice.

I had dinner, waited and watched some tv. I thought about just giving up for the day. The devil on my shoulder was telling me to forget it. My fear was winning – or maybe it was just tired. As I watched the Pursuit of Happyness I listened to Wil Smith’s character lecture his young son, “Never let someone tell you that you can’t do something.”

I let that sink in, brushed the devil off my shoulder. I put my medical insurance card in the front of my wallet, and I was ready to get over my fear. My fear was not going to tell me that I can’t do something.

It was about 9:30PM, I asked the neighbor to move his bike in my best charades, I got the very heavy bike out of my living room and into the alley, and I pushed it past the neighbors – I was feeling brave. I pushed it to a wider part of the alley where I could start it. Put on my helmet, kickstand up, key in ignition, push starter button…MMMmmmmmMMMMMmmmmMMMMMmmmmMMMMMMmmmm.

There was no nice, even roar of the engine ready to take on the open road.

The bike wouldn’t start. All of that practice in my living room 3 days ago, and it still wouldn’t start. I was deflated. I was defeated. I tried a few more times, eventually gave up and rolled it back past the neighbors, up into my living room, texted Mr. Linh my rental guy, and came back upstairs to write this.

What a crap day. No fears conquered, no practice – just obstacles.

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Liked what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 4

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 2

admin — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:03:15 +0000

Getting to know your bike buttons

Start from the Beginning – Motorbike Diaries Vol. 1

There is a motorbike in my living room. Don’t worry, I put it there on purpose, I didn’t drive through a wall or anything. It’s just sitting there, paid for, looking at me as if it were a piece of furniture. It’s kind of like the baby that was raised by the pack of wild dogs and then starts taking on traits of the wild dogs. Maybe if I keep the motorbike sitting there long enough it will start to think it’s a coffee table or a couch.

I have completed step one – I now have rented a motorbike. Cross it off the list…wooohooo!

Ok – great…now what?

Mr. Linh delivered the bike to me today and all he asked for was 1.2 million Dong and a copy of my passport – oh and my signature on a contract that I was unable to read as it was in Vietnamese. Hopefully I didn’t sign away my first born child…then again…that might not be too bad consider I have no desire to be a mother.

Motorbike parking in my living room

He kindly showed me the various buttons, compartments and features of the bike while it was sitting in my living room. He never asked me to drive it nor did he ask me if I had a license. He’s a very trusting man…then again there was that contract….

He made sure I knew how to start it, in fact we practiced that a few times as it sat in my living room. My living room now smells a bit like a garage. He also showed me the horn, one of the most important features of a motorbike in Asia.

I figure that having the motorbike stare at me every day as I eat my yogurt and drink my coffee will be inspiration enough to get my ass on it. Heck – maybe I will sit on it and drink my coffee and eat my yogurt. Most people around here use it as a chair/table anyway.

In all honesty, I do have a plan – and it doesn’t involve me putting on my bikini, greasing up, laying on the bike in a seductive way and having someone take pictures. Oh – if I were only 15 years younger… My plan is to take the bike out and practice when the streets aren’t so crazy crowded. This means late at night and potentially on the weekend. So – guess what I’m doing this weekend?!

In the meantime, I will practice staring it in my living room while drinking my coffee.

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Liked what you read? Then keep reading!

Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 3

The Motorbike Diaries – Vol. 1

admin — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:10:50 +0000

Commuting in HCMC

Yes, you have all heard about the movie Motorcycle Diaries; Che Guevara and his epic motorcycle journey through South America. No, the title of this post wasn’t a typo. I’ve decided that since conquering my fear of driving in Ho Chi Minh City seems to be something I think about 24/7, I might as well write about it. The Motorbike Diaries will chronical my epic journey to becoming a part of Vietnamese culture and driving among them….the locals that is.

Motorbikes represent modern Vietnamese culture. They represent freedom; freedom to move about. They represent everything that is right, and everything that is wrong with this country in some weird way. Increasing wealth, family, pollution, chaos, and immense patience.

For the past 5 months I’ve been getting around HCMC via a Xe-Om (pronounced Say Ohm). In English we would simply call it a motorbike taxi. However I’ve heard that the actual English translation means ‘motorbike hug’ and I adore that description. There’s something about it that makes me smile. It’s true though, when riding on back of a motorbike you do become quite ‘friendly’ with the driver. Imagine if you were in NYC and instead of getting into the back of a taxi, you go sit on the taxi drivers lap! It’s cozy.

One of my favorite xe-om drivers!

Over the past 5 months I’ve chosen a few regular Xe-Om drivers. Kind of like a personal driver I suppose, but it’s not quite that elegant. Basically you just hope that they know and respect you well enough that they don’t show up drunk. One of my drivers even took me out and tried to teach me how to drive his motorbike with him on the back. I kept wondering if he understood if he was working his way out of a job if he taught me how to ride myself?! Most of my regular guys are good – but they are like any other taxi drivers around the world. They are always in a hurry and think that they are Steve McQueen racing through the streets of San Francisco…a bit terrifying at times.

In addition to wanting some freedom to drive myself , and to not have to ‘hug’ strangers any longer – there’s another reason I have decided to conquer my fear. Drum roll please………………..I hate fear. I don’t want to fear anything. I don’t want to be an outsider any longer. I don’t want to be a wimp any longer. I said I was going to learn to drive a motorbike, and damit – I’m going to.

Keep following along to see what happens…even I don’t know how this adventure will end! As a side note – at least I do have medical insurance!

Get your own Vietnam Motorbike License and get out on the streets!

Liked what you read, then keep reading!

The Motorbike Diaries - Vol.2

Ottsworld Travel Experiences » motorbike diaries

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