Taking the plunge into a new world
It’s been over 5 years since I’ve moved. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on the move continuously for the last 2 years; I’m talking about actually moving to live in a new place where I have an actual rent payment. I’ve had many homes after I moved out of my childhood home in Peoria, IL at the age of 18.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Omaha, Nebraska
Minneapolis, Minnesota
San Francisco, California
New York, New York
Now I have to get used to saying the phrase “I live in Ho Chi Minh City.” I can’t say that it easily rolls off my tongue; in fact it’s a mouth full. You (my loyal readers) will soon come to know it as HCMC or Saigon…much easier and to say!
I normally love moving in a weird painful way. I’m one of those strange people that enjoys the challenge of turning my world upside down, even though it means that it will be painful at times and there will be many occurrences of tears and doubt. But don’t get me wrong, I do love it. I love the result – even though it normally takes 6 to 12 months to realize. I don’t think I’ve ever been the type of person that gets super excited about a move, I’m more reserved, cautious, and cynical than the average person; causing me to be constantly cautious and guarded in my emotions. I’m obviously excited about making the move else I wouldn’t be doing it; but I have moved enough to know that there are a lot of difficult things that come with moving which is why I don’t get all excited and say in a high pitched voice “I can’t wait to move to Saigon!”. Instead, people ask me if I’m excited about moving to Vietnam and my reply is more of a subdued “Yes, I’m excited about it. It will be challenging and fun.”
This move is full of many firsts. The most obvious is that this will be the first time that I live overseas. Following that, it will be the first time I’ve moved somewhere they speak a different language. It is also the first time that I’m moving somewhere with only 2 suitcases and absolutely no furniture besides this laptop (which can sorta double as a desk). This is the first time I’ve taken a job solely based on a phone interview and never visiting the company.
So – back to the question – “Am I scared?”
Hell yes – who wouldn’t be?
I’m sitting here in the plane flying over Thailand freaking out a bit. I was trying to read my English grammar book for a while until I realized the futility in it; as if I can cram 500 pages of grammar into my head before I start teaching…it was worth a try. Then I tried to listen to my Learn Vietnamese Podcast in vain. I watched the Sex in the City Movie (bad idea – that just makes me homesick and wonder what the hell I’ve done). Finally I turned to the only things that calm me down…wine, Billie Holiday, and writing; I’m feeling better already; at least until I take my first step off the plane.
This move is full of a lot of ambiguity. I don’t know much about my job except that I’m teaching a subject that I use everyday but hardly know. I don’t have a place to live. I don’t know how to get around. I don’t have a map. I don’t know anyone in HCMC. Ok – I’m lying…I know one person in HCMC, a woman that I met in my around the world travels who I have done some computer consulting work for, and I’m so excited about that I could literally burst. I don’t know if I’m cut out for teaching. I don’t know if I’m cut out for any of this weird adventure. One of my favorite quotes talks about how delicious ambiguity is; so instead of being scared shitless, I will try to embrace it.
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. –Gilda Radner
Nepal did exactly what I needed it to do. Strip my western conveniences down to nothing and force myself to reset. It was a severely painful process, but it worked. I will be thankful if I have hot water. I will be thankful for a bed that has some sort of padding. I will be thankful not to have to bath in public. Nepal also taught me how to be alone again which was probably the hardest lesson that I had to learn. I have realized that this keyboard is my best, most reliable friend. God that sounds pathetic doesn’t it? But it’s absolutely true. It can talk me off a ledge, it can bring me calm and sanity, and strangely is listens well…in the form of these words. It will continue to play the role of closest confidant until I can meet some new friends.
One of my favorite things about moving is remembering my impressions of the first day/night in a new home. I remember my first nights in San Francisco and New York vividly…they will stick with me forever. I’m sure that the moment I step off the plane HCMC will start carving a place in my memory bank that will be with me until I die.
So I guess I’m prepared as I will ever be for this next chapter in my life. Sufficiently scared and excited. The glass of wine helped prepare me too….that always seems to calm my overactive mind. Here I go again…
Sherry, We hope you are now settled and have the teaching profession all figured out…..you’re a brave, but a little crazy, gal!
Fall colors are fading, morning frost a daily event and that means we are getting ready to head for Fl in a week. We closed up the Cedar Lake place last Saturday when it was 72 degrees so all is put to bed over there for the winter.
We hope you are somewhat at ease in your new surroundings and wish you the best. Take care.
Bill and Lois
I’m hoping that the picture of you jumping out of the plane was not the end of your flight across Thailand. Boy, they sure do it differently around the world………
xoxo
Hey Sherry,
It will be so fun to compare your teaching experiences with my friend Gail’s experiences up in Hanoi; granted she is teaching at a University…for a semester…with a translator, but I bet there are plenty of similarities. One thing she said is that Vietnamese is hard to learn because it is a tonal language…that being the case don’t beat yourself up if your progress is halting and slow. The other thing you will probably find is that people WANT to speak English to you so it will be difficult to get experience speaking Vietnamese. But, you’ll pick up the basics and figure out how to do the rest…
Can’t wait to read all about it!
Hugs, Lynn
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. –Gilda Radner
That is awesome – I actually have that quote printed on a magnet stuck on my fridge where I read it every day. Nice coincidence
I love the way you put things – especially the part about not being over-the-moon excited about moving. i feel the same way. it’s the way to get somewhere new (both actually and, in a deeper more personal way), but you’ve done it enough to know that it will be challenging and that challenges are not necessarily something to be “gleeful” about. I think reserved excitement is a good way to describe it. Best of luck, my dear! I’m always thinking about you.
Sherry, you rock! Thanks, as always, for sharing your honest feelings about this transition. It’s inspiring reading for those of us still standing on the edge of the precipice trying to gather the nerve to jump. (Unlike life, the nice thing about tandem skydiving is that you’re strapped to someone else who is totally in control!) Can’t wait to hear the next installment of your HCMC adventures.
Sherry, once again you’re an inspiration!
We’re rooting for you, and you’re never truly alone when you have this many people living vicariously through you
On a camera note, I ended up going with the Nikon D80 … primarily because I got to hold both that and the Canon 40D and liked the way the dials and controls were laid out better on the Nikon. Looking forward to taking photographs again and learning how to see.
Keep up the good work!
Brian and Amy
Sonia – that is so true; tandem diving doesn’t seem nearly as scarey as trying to relocate here! I’ve given up on having any control at this point…you just spin your wheels. It’s a good test in patience which I have none of! Thanks for reading!
Sherry
Brian and Amy – have fun ‘christening’ your new toy! You did the right thing – when choosing a brand, it should be based on how it feels to you. Canon and Nikon are both great! Send me some of your work sometime!
Sherry