Paddle Through – Ao Nang, Thailand

While traveling solo in Ao Nang, I decided to take a kayak trip and was treated to an adventure of caves and monkeys…and a few bats.  I loved the small town of Ao Nang, a little beachy tourist community that I would have loved to spend a few extra days or weeks in.

If you want to view more Photography this Friday, then check out the Briefcase to Backpack Photo Friday

Thailand sunset

View Thailand Photography

View  snapshots of Southern Thailand

My sister, Cyndi, and our friend Mary decided to come join me in Bangkok and Southern Thailand for some shopping and sunbathing. Thanks to my sister’s friends with connections this also marked the beginning of my 5 star travel through Thailand. Cyndi knew someone who could get a ‘special deal’ at the Peninsula Hotel in Bangkok (and we could split it 3 ways!). Once again I’m reminded – connections are everything! The special deal afforded us the opportunity to stay in the nicest hotel in Bangkok, one of the nicest hotels in all of Asia and hands down the best hotel that I’ve ever stayed at…it was an experience. It was fun to see the finely oiled machine they call Customer Service hum. It was such a change from my last 2 weeks of budget travel just praying for hot water and no big bugs – I felt like I was in a dream. I met Cyndi and Mary at the hotel and we settled into our suite. It was large and had an amazing view of the river, a HUGE bathroom and dressing room and more electrical gadgets and amenities than I’ve ever experienced. My highlight was the big tub in the bathroom…with a TV! I had visions of taking a bubble bath and watching the Patriots vs. Colts playoff game at the same time…who needs beer and peanuts when you have a bubble bath!

However – there was no time to sit around playing with all of the gadgets. Little did I know – but in addition to being the sex capital of Asia, Bangkok’s sweet spot was also shopping. We were headed to the famous Chatuchak weekend market in search of bargains. Cyndi also arranged to hire a driver for the day that would assist us with our every shopping need. I wasn’t really sure what my shopping needs were – but I liked the sounds of ‘having a diver’…definitely a special deal! Our driver, Nick, dropped us off in front of the Chatuchak market – but before he let us shop till we dropped, he had a few instructions for us. He gave us each a bottle of ice cold water (as you know it’s not good to be a dehydrated shopper!) and he gave a cell phone with his cell number programmed into it. He told us to call him when we had bags that we wanted him to take back to the car – he would meet us at the entrance. Yes…this was not shopping for rookies – this was Major League shopping. We set off…money belts and water in hand. It really was huge and the variety of items was boggling. We bargained for clothes, housewares, and antiques and Nick would come pick them up for us an bring us more water. He even had a marker with him so we could put our names on each bag in order to tell them apart in the trunk. We barely stopped for food and finally I had to break down and stop for a bathroom break. Let me tell you – there was nothing 5 Star about the public toilets at Chatuchak – all I can say is bring Purel!

In my travels to date I have gotten much better at bargaining at markets (thanks to some tutoring from my sister). As an American the idea of bargaining for goods is quite uncomfortable, it doesn’t really come naturally to us…especially to Midwesterners! You have to practice…just like learning a new dance-step – practice, practice, practice. Start with the cheap items though (I actually tried to bargain for water once in Bali)…then move on to the more expensive things. The bargaining shouldn’t just stop at the markets…you can bargain for hotel rooms, bus tickets, taxis, you name it – everything is a negotiation in Asia/Malaysia/Indonesia. It’s like a ballroom dance where you and your partner (the seller) knows all of the steps flawlessly – all you do is execute – hopefully without stepping on each others feet.

They state their initial price, you act shocked and say “Too Expensive!” Then they say,”We give you special discount today, How much you pay?” This normally includes them pushing a calculator into your hand so that you can punch in your price and show it to them. You take the calculator and display half of their original price and show them the calculator. They agitatedly say “No, No – I have to make money – you trying to kill me!” They take the calculator and say “I give you special deal – for you special deal.” They punch in a slightly lower number than their first one and hand you the calculator saying “Special deal…for you….you take?”. They even start to get out a bag and put the item in the bag at this point – just assuming you are going to agree. This next move is important – it’s the make/or break moment of the dance – the difference between getting rated a 2.5 or a 9.7 on your bargaining skills. You take the calculator and say “No, no, no, you give me best price.” Now they know that you aren’t completely gullible and the real bargaining begins…yeehaw! The calculator is exchanged many more times like a hot potato. In the middle of the hot potato game they normally make a statement “How can I feed my family – give me something – just a little.” Don’t let this pull at your heart strings…you have to be tough. If you are really giving them too low of price – they simply won’t sell it to you. Eventually you come to an agreement signified by you typing a number in the calculator and saying “This is the MOST I’ll pay.” At this point, you can’t be afraid to walk away…you may just have to move on and leave the item behind…don’t worry there are many more around the corner. Even though this may seem like a silly or uncomfortable process, this really can be a fun theatrical process – it doesn’t have to be intimidating. The funny thing is that you are normally negotiating over a difference of $3 US so be familiar and quick with your currency conversations! One of my favorite bargaining exchanges that day at Chatuchak was with a guy selling us shirts. We agreed on a price and then we threw in the curve ball – “Ok – better deal if we buy 3?” That sent him into a calculator frenzy! It was really hot and he would fan me with his hand fan as we worked on the calculator. We left with 3 shirts and all of us were laughing and enjoying ourselves – even the vendor! Sometimes I think that they should send all University business students to a big market and make them bargain for a day…it does teach you good negotiation skills!

Photo: Man made of birth control!

Finally the market was closing and Nick met us to take us to the car. When we got to the car he had more water and little, cold, wet washcloths for us to freshen up – brilliant! With our car full of purchases we had Nick take us straight to a restaurant for nourishment and a chance to get off our feet. We went to Cabbages and Condoms – a Thai restaurant well-known for it’s philanthropy and it’s goofy name. A portion of their proceeds go back into the community to support the food bank (Cabbages) and AIDS research (Condoms). The food was great – but I was most impressed with the decor. Everywhere they had life size figurines made of condoms! Instead of an after dinner mint, they handed you the bill and a condom for each person – what a fabulous idea! Now they just have to figure out how to give me a tall, cut boy to go with that!

We looked around at the gift shop and they had some demonstrations of how to make silk from the worm to the actual hand weaving. They were boiling silk worms and unraveling their ‘cocoon’ for the silk thread. We watched them for a bit and then the lady took one out and unwrapped a cooked worm and handed to me. The guy next to us saw our confusion and said – “You can eat it.” I thought a couple of seconds about it and said Ok – what the hell…it tasted like corn – but a bit mushier. Somehow I convinced Cyndi and Mary to try one too…I think the drinks at dinner helped in that decision. I was pretty proud of all of us for having our after-dinner worms. As we were leaving the lady cooking the worms said…”good protein”.

We went home that night and relaxed in our ultimate ‘special deal’ of 5 Star comfort. I took a bubble bath and watched TV – heavenly! The next day we awoke to a gray, rainy day so we changed our original site-seeing plan and decided to go hunting for silver instead. Photo: Silver shopping!
Good quality silverware is in high supply in Bangkok for cheap prices and Cyndi and Mary were on the hunt- I kind of felt like Yukon Cornelius. We made a few stops and finally ended up at the silver mecca…a little market that was willing to do the bargaining dance. I honestly can’t shop too much as I don’t have room in my suitcase to buy many things, but it’s really hard to pass up these bargains in Asia…especially when I know that I would pay 3 times as much at Pottery Barn for the same thing. The silver was high quality and calling my name! After a couple of hours of bargaining, choosing the design, determining the number of place settings, and the number of pieces…we all 3 left with new silverware! One problem…it was heavy, and the airlines have weight limits. In addition – how the hell was I going to get it all shipped back to NY…where there is a will – there is a way – and a credit card.

The last day we were in Bangkok we had a lazy morning at the hotel gym where the help there would open our bottles of water for us, and bring us a cold, wet washcloth when we were done working out…I really could get used to being rich. We got cleaned up and went to visit the Grand Palace. This was a huge temple site that housed the famed Emerald Buddha. It was actually a great fortress of Buddhism with many temples and intricate design, and tons of gold – Yukon Cornelius would have made a killing here! Thai kings stopped living in the Palace around the turn of the 20th century and it now houses various government offices and remains the spiritual heart of of the Thai community.

That afternoon it was time for us to head to the beach and say goodbye to our wonderful staff at the Peninsula. We packed all of our new, shiny, silver knives in our checked luggage, and tried to put the rest of the heavy items in our carry on so that we could meet the weight limits of 15kg. It’s a good think we are all pretty strong women…most would have buckled under the weight. We actually weighed each of our suitcases and carry-ons on the scale in our bathroom and I found that I was carrying a total of 30kg…thank god massages were cheap! We took off for the new Bangkok airport. The Bangkok airport was just completed a few months ago and is officially the largest passenger terminal in the world. It was quite massive and impressive, but still had a number of kinks. We managed to play dumb when they told us our bags were overweight. They gave us a warning and sent us on our way. The Limestone cliffs and sand beaches of Railay Bay awaited us!

Photo: Cyndi and Mary carrying bags through water – that’s the town that we walked from in the distance!
We arrived at sunset and we had arranged transfer to our beach hotel. The only problem was that the only way to get to our hotel was by long tail boat – and the tide was low. The driver dropped us off at the peer, and next we had to wade out in knee deep water with our silverware laden suitcases and hoist them into a long-tail boat for our transport to the hotel. I had a little flashlight that I carry on my backpack – so we used that and the moonlight to guide out way. We only dropped one bag in the water because the strap broke, and we had many laughs! We had certainly left our 5 star treatment behind in Bangkok…now we were wading through a muddy beach in the dark! We had a nice little bungalow near the beach and got settled in after a beer and some dinner. Since we arrived under the cover of darkness, it wasn’t until the morning that we could really see our surroundings.
We awoke to a breathtaking view of a beach surrounded by massive limestone cliffs. I had never really seen anything quite like it before. It sort of reminded me of Milford sound…but instead of a huge range of cliffs – it was more singular. The cliffs would jut up out of the water in the middle of the Andaman Sea. They were carved out at the bottom by the sea and there were also many caves in this region. The first day we took a speed boat tour to 4 different islands, basically just snorkeling and sunbathing the day away. The water was aqua colored and warm, the sun was beating down, and I was lathering up with sunscreen! The next day we lazed around the pool, the beach, and the spa…just what we needed after our intense shopping in Bangkok!
Photo: Guy jumping from cliff…pretty freaky!

Cyndi and Mary left Railay and I decided to go stay by myself in Ao Nang – a little beach town that seemed to have a ton of variety and Internet cafes! I relaxed for 3 more days in Ao Nang enjoying my alone time, catching up on writing, laying on the beach, and working on future trip planning! I also did a full day cave kayaking trip – the only word I can find to describe it was “unusual”. The kayaking was great – and great exercise. However the monkeys were plentiful and hopping all over out kayak. Then our guide (who didn’t speak much English) would lead us into caves with a lighter and show us bats – I honestly didn’t want to see the bats. The bats would start flying over my head and I would get a little freaked out…I knew I should have never passed up that rabies shot…damn. He took my camera and did take some pictures for me though…even one of me crouching down hiding from the bats!

I was sad to be leaving Thailand, I really enjoyed it more than I expected to. There’s no better feeling than when your expectations are exceeded. I enjoyed Northern Thailand the best as that’s where we seemed to find the most historical culture, but it was great to see all areas and really understand the differences. I just love being on the road!
I did a little tally of my time in Thailand:
1 worm
2 rats
3 great travel partners
4 temples
6 tigers
7 massages
14 girly-boys
17 spicy papaya salads
32 pieces of silver
A pile of used one-ply napkins
And an infinite amount of special deals…

Photo: Me on my last night in Thailand by myself…doing what I love, drinking wine, writing, and eating spicy papaya salad!

Reclining Budha at Wat Pho

Note: The photos of the bar, Sirocco, in this post are not mine – they are from the bar’s website. I couldn’t take many pictures at night as the flash just doesn’t do it justice. In addition – the sex clubs of course would not allow a camera…so you will have to use your imagination!

View snapshots of One Day in Bangkok

After two weeks of playing and eating all over Northern Thailand, I have arrived in the heart of Thailand – Bangkok – the city that screams SEX! There are about 9 million people living in the sprawling metropolis and no, not all of them are associated with the Sex Trade. However – Bangkok certainly has it’s seedy areas, like all cities, it’s just a little easier to find them than most cities.

This is also where Emily left me and returned sadly to NY. She was wonderful to travel with and extremely laid back/low-maintenance. So we had one day in Bangkok together – with an aggressive schedule of site seeing, massage, and nightlife. Like good New Yorkers, we first mastered the sky train system (basically their subway). It was a breeze (mainly because it only had two lines to keep track of) and they printed a little map on the back of every ticket…what a great idea! We took the sky train to the river and then took a river express taxi to the main tourist temple area. We wanted to go to Wat Pho.

Sure – we wanted to see the Reclining Buddha along with the throngs of other tourists, but what we really wanted to find was the Wat Pho Massage School…home of the best massages in Thailand! It had come highly recommended to us – so the reclining Buddha was just a perk in our minds! We wandered around the reclining Buddha, taking our customary photos and once again realizing that we know very little about Buddhism. It was hot outside and we were hunting around the temple in search of the massage school – finally we stopped and asked a couple of young girls walking by. They said…follow us…so we did. We followed them off of the temple grounds and down the alley, sure enough…they lead us right to it…the holy grail of Thai massage! Obviously we must have done something right in the temple as we were rather lucky for randomly asking people for directions – they ended up working there! It really was the best massage I had in Thailand!

We next got back to our hotel to get cleaned up as we had signed up for a night walking tour of Bangkok. The night our was to show us Bangkok by night – the ritzy, the dive bars, the cultural and the sexy. I know what you are all thinking…isn’t there some song about one night in Bangkok…well, yes there is – it’s from the 80′s:

One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain’t free
You’ll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can’t be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

I think that pretty much sums it up! We were ready to go party in this town! The tour included dinner and drinks all night – and it went as late as you wanted it to…perfect! (for those of you interested – it was through Smiling Albino – www.smilingalbino.com) There were 6 other people in the group and our tour guide was a Canadian named Greg. He was a big, bald, white guy…I certainly felt safe with him. He had lived in Bangkok for 5 years now and loved it. We started by walking to a little dive bar by our hotel. It was an outdoor bar in a little circular alley. There really was no ‘inside’ to it as you sat on the street on a bar stool. When cars came down the alley, you had to pick up your stool and move out of the way until the car passed, then you moved back to sitting on the street. Thank God this was the 1st bar else one too many drinks and I would have been road kill! I wondered what kind of lease this bar paid considering the seating was in the street – I hope the owner got a good deal!

Photo: Bangkok neighborhood

Next we walked through an eclectic neighborhood where Africa, the Middle East, and Asia met – it was quite a site to see the array of restaurants. We walked down a small, crowded alley – but it was no regular alley with dumpsters. Instead it had more activities in this one alley to choose from than 90% of the towns in Nebraska! It was mind boggling! There were Thai and Persian restaurants, bars, laundry service, foot massage (chairs literally set up in the alley), karaoke booths, hookers, pancake vendors, tailors and an Internet cafe. This really was a good use of space! Next we hopped on the sky train and went to a great restaurant where Greg ordered us a feast. Emily and I convinced him to order a spicy papaya salad and we enjoyed it with our wine (good wine…finally!).

After dinner we were whisked away in a mini van to the glitzy side of Bangkok – The Dome at State Tower. This building used to be one of the many unfinished construction shells – a victim of the Thailand financial crisis a few years back. However in the last 4 years, they have completed it and it’s a beauty. At the top is a bar called Sirocco (meaning warm winds) – this was our next destination! We went to the 64th floor and the moment we stepped off the elevator I could feel it. No, not the warm winds, but the ‘red rope’ snobbery was in the air. The bouncers looked us up and down evaluating our ‘worthiness’. In NYC there is no way in hell that our motley crew of 9 would have gotten in. They would’ve taken one look at our jeans, tennis shoes, and fanny packs and said “Get the F out of here.” For the record, I was not wearing a fanny pack or tennis shoes…I tried my best to tidy myself up with flip flops and jeans…but traveling out of one bag for a year is pretty limiting! I feel that I must reassure my friends that I haven’t changed that much since I left! Sure, I may eat a rat and sleep on a mattress on the floor for $3, but I’d still like to believe that I have style.

Miraculously the bouncers let us in. They obviously didn’t know that they could turn us away like in NYC – apparently they had never been there – thank God. We went through the doors that led outside and I saw a view like no other – it literally looked like you could walk right off the roof. I had to remind myself that we were not in the safety-crazed US – we are in Thailand.

In NYC, this place would’ve had 8 ft. high safety railing and nets like at the Rockefeller building. Here at Sirocco they had a 5 ft. glass railing – completely see through on the edge of the building. There was no real safety netting that would even deter people from throwing things over the side. I felt like I should ‘hook in’ somewhere before I went down the huge staircase to the bar precariously perched on the far corner. I ordered a martini as I scanned around at the beautiful people. After my drink came, I was preoccupied with thoughts around the dangers of serving alcohol 64 stories up with a short railing (I think I would have been safer petting more live tigers with the monks)! It really was a great place – a place that could never exist in the US. I stood by the railing and talked to the other people on our tour all the while I had my hand ‘white knuckled’ to the railing while the other one firmly held my martini. We bid adieu to the swanky bar and next headed to the heart of nightlife in Bangkok.
Photo: My only picture of the bar that night…from my camera!

We arrived in Pad Pong – the sex bar lined market place that comes alive at night. Sure – it’s the sex haven of Bangkok, but it also houses a night market that mainly sells knock-offs items from Tiffany, LV, Gucci, D&G, Polo, and of course Coach…you name it – it’s here. It’s surrounded by sex bars with young boys trying to convince you to come in and see the ‘sites’. One of the women in our tour group had 2 kids in their early 20′s that she wanted to get gifts for. She asked for my help in shopping for them. I decided not to tell her that I was closer to 40 than to 20 – that was better left unsaid. So I helped her pick out Coach, Tiffany, and Diesel for her kids and taught her how to ‘bargain’ at a market. It was a blast to negotiate with someone elses money. She was loaded with items by midnight…mission accomplished.

The rest of the tour group decided to call it a night around midnight. Greg said that he would stay out with Emily and I as long as we wanted. Great…we wanted to see the sex bars and the infamous ‘Girly-Boys’ of Bangkok. On our way to the Girly-Boy club young boys came up to us and would ask “Ping pong?”. I had actually read about Ping Pong in Pad Pong (say that 3 times fast!) once – so I knew what they were trying to get us to come in and view. I don’t necessarily feel comfortable describing it in the blog – so if you want to know what it is – send me an email and ask (or google it). I judge no one – so feel free to ask. I felt obliged to tell Emily what it was for fear of her saying yes to one of the boys and thinking that she was going to see table tennis. We both agreed that we could skip Ping Pong.

We arrived at the Girly-Boy club. For those of you that don’t know what a Girly-boy is – it’s a transvestite – a really good one. Quite frankly – I was envious of every girly-boy’s body in there! They were stunning and so convincing – the average person would have no idea that these were men – thanks to a lot of plastic surgery. They all had bigger boobs than me – which for those of you that know me – this is no surprise. We entered and were immediately ushered to a seat at the bar. In the middle of the bar there was a stage with a dozen poles and the ‘women’ were up there dancing. They would basically try to get your interest and therefore your permission to come and sit with you.

We ordered some beers and Emily and I sat there in awe. It was great to have Greg there as you could ask him any question about the whole scene – and who in their right mind wouldn’t have questions?! Of course the #1 question that came to mind was, “Do the male patrons here know that the beautiful creatures they are intently watching are/were men?” Greg’s answer was that about half knew exactly what they were looking at – the other half…were probably in for a surprise. Needless to say – the girly-boys weren’t too interested in Emily and I – which was fine with me. Next we wanted to see the real women of Pad Pong. Greg took us to a regular strip joint next. We stayed a short time but long enough to realize that the girls were young and not half as gorgeous as the girly-boys!

Photo: Emily and I at dinner
Emily needed to get back to the hotel for a 4:30 wake up call to catch her morning flight – so we walked through Pad Pong to find a cab. As we walked through – you are bombarded by the site of old men with young Thai girls which kind of made your stomach turn…it was disturbing – but so is someone smoking crack on the NYC subway next to you. Every city has it’s ‘devils’…but that’s what gives it character. Greg put us in a cab and we returned to our safe little hotel. Our one night in Bangkok was complete – One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster!

Welcome to public toilets in Asia!

All of the guide books make reference to it; the Asian toilet a.k.a. Squatty Potty, but no one from Lonely Planet is telling you how to use it. There is no diagram or map, they just let you figure it out yourself. So for all of the ladies out there that are planning to travel to Asia, read on. When I was in Northern Thailand trekking through hill tribes our guide, Hay, would use the term “Going to Pee Pee Island” when he or someone had to go to the bathroom on the trail. Fitting since there is an island in Southern Thailand called Koh Phi Phi (pronounced Pee Pee).    I have affectionately decided to start using the term…it just seems a little nicer than #1 and #2 – don’t ya think?

My experience of learning to pee in a squatty potty came over much trial and error (and wet shoes and pant cuffs unfortunately – ewwww). After much practice in various countries in Asia, I became somewhat proficient.  Here’s a few tips that I gathered.

First, no matter what kind of toilet you encounter in Asia, carry some sort of toilet paper in with you at all times. In a real squatty potty situation, and even in most western public toilet situations there is never toilet paper provided.  I have no idea why.  The only reason I can come up with is the plumbing can’t handle excessive paper usage, so one way to control that is to not provide it. Or maybe Thailand just has a shortage of paper products, as evidenced by their tiny napkins.

Ok, now down to the details.  I will start with the western toilet in Asia

This toilet looks familiar, it looks like ours; a throne to sit on.  You may be excited to encounter one of these as they are in the minority in Asia.  As you are sitting ‘doing your business’, you survey your surroundings and notice, there’s a toilet paper holder (but no toilet paper of course – hope that you brought your own as I had advised), there’s a large bucket of water beneath a water spout, and there is a small trash can. The bucket will have a smaller scoop/dipper floating in it.
All of these items are important.  They aren’t just there for looks as I had once thought.  Don’t be fooled by the western looking toilet! Sure you can sit, however the plumbing in most of the areas is not very good.  Therefore, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the flusher actually works.  Instead, once you have completed your business and dug your own toilet paper out of your pocket,  don’t throw it in the stool.  You are supposed to throw it in the little trash can.  Then you go to the bucket of water and use the ‘scoop’ floating in the water to fill up and pour down the toilet.  Do this 2 or 3 times (you can use your own judgment on this) and this creates a ‘natural’ flushing mechanism; thank God for gravity! If you are really polite, you should take note of how much water is left in the bucket and if it’s low, turn on the spout and fill it up for the next person.

You have now mastered the Asian Western toilet. Granted, in nicer hotels you don’t have to worry about this.  These types of Asian Western toilets are mainly public toilets or in budget hotels/hostels.

The other situation…the true Asian squatty potty:

This toilet is basically a porcelain hole in the ground raised up off the floor about 4 inches. There is no plumbing/flushing mechanism associated with this.  You will once again find the typical spout, bucket of water and ‘dipper’ to flush (see above), and a little trash can.  The squatty potties are not meant to have toilet paper put down them, so definitely use the trash can!  Upon first entering the foreign abode, you will be confused.  Do you stand over the hole?  Do you squat over the hole?  How do you not ‘splash’?  What if you are wearing flip flops?  Where do you stand exactly?  So many questions; I have experienced them all!  

The first thing to know is you should stand on the place where there are ‘foot rests’.  This is normally signified by little foot platforms on the porcelain structure itself.  I’ve made the mistake of putting my feet outside the edges of the porcelain structure and it just doesn’t work as well, trust me.  Instead, you stand on the porcelain foot rests.  Try to get your pants out of the ‘drop zone’ as best you can. 

Next you have to know how to squat.  I honestly learned this through trial and error.  I first tried squatting a little bit; kind of like working out at a gym and doing squats with your trainer.  However you’ll quickly find out that this still leaves about 3 feet between you and the actual toilet which directly effects the splash factor.   Just use your high school physics; the longer the drop, the more the splash.  You don’t want to come out of the bathroom with your pant legs all wet.  Or worse, your shoes all squishy.  It’s not fun, I’ve been there.  You’ll want to reduce the distance between you and the toilet.  The best way that I have figured out how to describe this is to get in a catcher’s stance, just like you are Jorge Posada, ready to receive the pitch from the mound.  Now if you are actually standing on the right spot on the squatty potty (on the porcelain footrests) and you are looking like a major league baseball catcher, then you will look down and realize you are in the best possible position to pee. 

After your done you use your own toilet paper that you brought and put it in the nearby trash can.  Then you scoop water out of the nearby bucket and pour it down the squatty potty a few times.  Before I had mastered the catcher’s squat, there were a few times I poured a scoop of water over my feet!

Finally, I know you are all wondering, what about #2?  I call it Poo Poo Island.  Simply assume the catchers stance again, make sure you bring your toilet paper, and know that you may have to refill the bucket for your manual ‘flushing’.  It takes a few more scoops of water for natural flushing.

You may be wondering how I became so smart in the ancient ways of the Asian squatty potty?

I still remember the day that I finally figured this all out.  I was at a bus terminal in Chiang Mai.  I bought my toilet paper for 3 baht, and went into the public toilet.  I decided to try the catchers stance for the first time; it was then that I noticed it.  In front of me, on the stall door there was some Thai writing.  It was right at my eye level while I was in the catcher’s stance.  Eureka!!!!  I had found the sweet spot; they put writing here because that’s where your eye level is supposed to be! I was so damn proud of myself I wanted to burst! I came out of that public restroom a new woman feeling successful!  At that time I also decided that I could probably make a little diagram for westerners and sell it outside of the public toilet for about 10 baht.  Who knows, maybe that will be my next big business idea; Squatty Potty Cliff Notes with diagram.  I’m sure you would all buy it – wouldn’t you?

There it is, the instructions Lonely Planet never gave you.  Hopefully this info came in handy.  It’s the least I can do as it took me about 2 months, many wet pants legs, and shoes to figure this out.  Most of all, I hope this avoids you from having the ever so common ‘Asian travelers constipation’ (fear of going in the squatty potty).  Happy bowel movements to you all!

Night Market in Mae Hong Son

View ‘Food of Thailand’ Photography

View snapshots of the Spicy Adventures 

Throughout my adult life I have strived for change and trying different things. I hate doing the same thing twice or going to the same place twice – I’d rather have a bikini wax than do something that I’ve already done…been there…done that. However – I have a few weird exceptions to the ‘must have change’ rule – foods. I’m not talking all foods, however every so often something I ate clicks my brain into ‘repeat mode’ and I can’t get enough of it. I had a couple of things in NYC that I was in a rut with – the Signature Salad from Cosi and the Chicken Parm from Vinnies…over and over – they never disappointed (and I miss them both!). In Thailand it was Spicy Papaya Salad that was my ‘can’t get enough of it’ food. We made it at cooking school and I was hooked! Every day Emily and I would order some. The best thing is that you could get it off the street at any vendor! I would get braver and braver with the spiciness factor when ordering. There was something very addicting about the spices in Thailand. I normally don’t love spicy food – but in Thailand – I found myself craving it! In Thailand, there are different levels of spiciness in which food is made. There’s food made for Caucasians and then there’s Thai food. The food made for Caucasians have the same names as the Thai food, but it’s missing one thing – the true Thai spice. Sure – you can order curry and it will even say on the menu that it’s spicy, and it will even taste rather spicy to our bland palettes. You will be completely satisfied thinking that you are eating real Thai food…but you aren’t. They’ve really left out about 75% of the spice/chillis that they put in curry for Thai people. The kind of spice that clears your sinuses in mere seconds (they should put chillis in Sudafed – it would be much more effective). It leaves your lips and tongue numb and it leaves your stomach in a knotty, nauseous mess a few hours after eating. This is real Thai food. At restaurants they call this Thai Spicy, if you want this intoxicating authentic experience – you order your curry ‘Thai spicy’ and know that you are getting authentic Thai food. However – one major warning…bring your own napkins.

Photo: Me and my tiny napkin I have to refer back to a Sienfeld episode on this…Can you Spare a Square. In Sienfeld they were talking about toilet paper – however in Thailand – I’m talking about a napkin. Thailand has this weird mix – the spiciest food, and the smallest napkins…this is not a good combination! The little stack of paper napkins would be on each dinner table…but when you went to pull them out to try to plug up your gushing sinuses, you realized that they were no bigger than a square of toilet paper AND they were one ply! I couldn’t understand this…were they so budget conscience that they didn’t want people wasting them? Did Thai people have some way of eating without needing to use a napkin? It baffled both Emily and I for weeks. We would eat our food Thai spicy and have a little mountain of crumpled up napkins at our table…it was kind of embarrassing…but better than letting our sinuses drip all over our food!

Emily and I were lucky – we were introduced to the concept of Thai Spicy on our Hill Tribe Trek with our guide Hay. He was so excited to cook for us because we were willing to try anything and we said that we wanted to eat like the locals eat. After the Hill Tribe Trek – we were no longer satisfied with eating at tourist places – we were on a quest – a quest for the real Thai food. However – there were a few problems with this quest – it meant that we needed to bring our own napkins, and we needed stomachs of teflon! We knew that the real authentic food was at the night markets, the vendors cooking food on the streets – but all ‘western’ tour guides tend to steer you away from these places. They serve raw vegetables, they wash the veggies in their local water, they have questionable health standards…yadda, yadda, yadda. Emily was blessed with a teflon stomach already, she would be just fine. I felt that over my last 4 months of travel, my stomach was slowly being trained. Trained to fight off evil bacteria that our normal US standards would frown upon. At least I told myself this knowing that what I was really doing was playing Russian Roulette with my intestines. However my feeling is that if you want to experience a different culture, then you have to eat the food.

With this new food mission, Emily and I left Chiang Mai and headed towards Pai. We decided to take a bus to Pai as our Lonely Planet said that it was the way to get to there. Since we hadn’t gotten any pre-arranged tickets, we decided to head down to the bus station in the morning and try to catch a local bus for the 4 hr. drive to Pai. However – as usual when traveling – getting there is never easy. We got a bus ticket for 70 Baht…about $2US…no air conditioning…joy. We did get 2 of the last 4 tickets – hurray! In all of my travels to date – this was the most authentic overland travel I had done. A local bus to Pai…what an experience. Photo: Foot space on the bus

We were crammed into the bus like sardines with the locals…literally there was no room to even put my feet. Luckily were were in the front seats so that gave us a little more knee space, however that also meant that my feat were propped up on the radiator fluid bottle. They even let people sit in the front window on top of the engine cover (inside). It reminded me of a packed subway that you crowded into – yet it wasn’t a 15 minute ride…it was a 4 hr. ride. Pai is in the mountains – so we were told that they road there was very curvy – Dramamine to the rescue! At times – I honestly didn’t think that the bus would make it up the hill…the driver would downshift into first gear and we would crawl up the hills – I could have walked faster…I’m not joking. At least the Dramamine made me drowsy – so I was in this nap like state the whole time. Emily actually fell asleep and nearly fell out of her chair into the isle (where people were sitting) when we went around one of the many hairpin turns! It was quite the ride. Of course we did find out that many people pay $200 baht and simply take a minivan with air conditioning to Pai in a mere 3 hrs..the Lonely Planet let us down on this one…but that’s ok – we had the ride of a lifetime!

Utopai is what many people called this town…which was pretty accurate. It was beatnik and full of coffee shops, little galleries, live music, bars, Thai tourists, and a night market (I could use a papaya salad after that bus ride!) It was Thailand’s version of the East Village in NYC. I loved the fact that there were so many tourists here – mainly because they were mainly Thai young people. There were very few Caucasians and everyones English was a bit choppy which finally forced me to learn ‘hello’ and ‘Thank you’ in Thai. The staples of any language! There were so many things I liked about this town – one was the prices. A typical menu of prices in Pai:

Cottage with hot shower – $10
Bottle of water – $.30
Beer $1
1 hour massage $5
Load of laundry – $1
Dinner and drinks for two – $7

Photo: Pancake Lady at night market
I honestly never wanted to leave Pai! We did end up staying an extra day in there because the white water rafting that we had planned to do was not really in season – not enough water. So instead of trying to float down a shallow river for 2 days – we decided to hang out in budget utopai. I would go running in the early mornings and people would look at me as if I was crazy – or sometimes they would cheer me on by clapping as I went by! I would write during the day and work on photography – it actually felt like a vacation of sorts! Every night we would go out and try new food – sometimes in restaurants, but more often than not – on the streets. I was moving one step closer to a teflon stomach. I was still more timid than Emily – but between us we would try many new things – including our old favorite – papaya salad. We would take our little one-ply napkins and wander down the street looking for new food blowing our noses like wimpy foreigners.

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 Photo: Noodles at the night market
We decided to head to Mai Hong Son next – a little town close to the border of Burma. Honestly the main reason why we went there was because we had booked a plane tickets out of there to get to Bangkok – so we went down to the local bus station and tried to figure out the best way to make the 4 hour ride to Mae Hong Son. This time we had wised up…we asked about a mini-van…sure enough – for $200 Baht we could get a air conditioned minivan to take us there…luxury! We got a little room at Friend House that literally had a mattress on the floor and a window…ok – it’s not the best – but it was only one night and it was clean…AND it was 150 Baht ($5 US). The fact that I was excited to sleep on a mattress on the floor with an outdoor toilet for $5 is a bit disturbing to me…I think I’m turning into my parents. However – there is something intoxicating about getting a good deal…and this sure was it! We went looking around the town and a couple of young girls came up to us giggling – and asked in their best broken English if they could interview us for a school assignment. We had to answer all kinds of questions about where we were from, what our nickname was (I’ll leave that a secret), why we came to Mae Hong Son, what our favorite Thai food was (ok – that was a no brainer), and then they had to take a picture of us. So it’s fun to think that in some classroom in Mae Hong Son kids are discussing Sherry Ott from New York City…ha! We then stumbled across the Mae Hong Son night market…an eating extravaganza!!! This market was set by the lake in the center of town and it was truly amazing. We just walked by stand after stand in awe of this yummy looking food. Most of the time we were wondering what it was…and trying to remember what stalls we wanted to come back to! They had little short tables set up on the grass along the lake that you could sit and eat at. We found someone that spoke some English and asked them about some of the food – but mainly we just tried what looked good to us – and of course we had papaya salad…the spiciest yet! I had been eying the meatball skewers back in Pai – and I finally decided to try them here. I asked for the chicken ones – yet I really have no idea if he understood me – so who knows what I ate. He asked me if I wanted sauce…’sure…I’ll take the sauce’. Of course the sauce was Thai spicy…next I needed a beer and a mound of napkins! It was probably the best food Emily and I had at a night market – we had a wonderful night – and used about 100 single-ply napkins! The next morning we got up and visited a local temple on the hill. It was a foggy morning which made for great photography of the white temple. We even met some tourists there that insisted on us getting a picture with them and their temple offerings.
Photo: Temple at dusk

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Our next major stop on the food tour was Kanchanaburi which was in central/west Thailand. It is most famous for the Bridge over the River Kwai. Of course I had never seen the movie, but was eager to learn more about it. We arrived in Kanchanburi by bus – another long ride but with AC and plenty of bugs. We walked around the town and found some spicy dinner, then found a great bar that was showing outdoor movies on a big screen! We watched Narnia under the stars that night! We loved it so much we met the owner of the bar and he let us pick out the movies for the next night. The next day we rented little bikes with big baskets and biked all over Kanchanaburi to see the World War II Cemetery, the Railway museum and the bridge itself. I’m certainly no history expert…in fact I’m probably below normal when it comes to my knowledge of WWII. However what little I did retain about it, it was mainly about the European battles, and dealings – not the Asian history about WWII. I was captivated by this little town and the history there. The bridge was just one part of a much larger story about the railway that was built between Thailand and Burma by WWII POW’s. It was fascinating and sobering. The museum there was top notch – very educational, and not to be missed. Emily and I both were blown away by what we learned and we both had a big knot in our stomachs after seeing the pictures and hearing the stories and visiting the cemetery. I think the whole experience took us by surprise – we learned a lot that day. Cycling back from the bridge, we were ready for lunch. I let Emily pick the lunch spot as she had been eying many places as we biked to the bridge. She chose one of the road side ‘restaurants’ that simply had pots of food out front and a few seats inside away from the sun. I can safely say that we were the only tourists that stopped there that whole week. The ladies warned us a few times about the fact that it was spicy – but we barged ahead. We left our customary stack of napkins, and lost the feeling in our lips.

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Later that afternoon we embarked on an adventure that was highly recommended by one of Emily’s friends. We went to see and pet live tigers at a temple run by monks. See…this would intrigue you too – right? We took off in a little truck taxi with about 8 other people…crammed in the back of a truck for 40 minutes wasn’t the best – but to pet live tigers…well – I could put up with anything! We got there and realized that Emily was wearing the wrong color…red. Apparently the tigers don’t like red (or maybe they like it too much…who knows), so they gave her a white shirt to wear and off we went. We bought our tickets and on the back of the ticket there was a disclaimer that we had to sign…the basic – “you are going to be seeing live tigers which is inherently dangerous. We take no responsibility for your safety”. Now – this may not seem unusual to you as in the US we would expect to sign a waiver of sorts when doing something dangerous. The weird thing about this was that in my 4 months of traveling and dangerous things that I’ve done – this was the first place that actually had a waiver. It kind of freaked me out! I actually had to stop and think for a second…damn…this could be dangerous. For a brief second – thoughts of Siegfried and Roy came to mind…tigers do attack – however, you only live once…so in we went!
Sure enough – there were about 10 big tigers in a canyon manned by monks and volunteers of sorts. I honestly didn’t really understand why the monks had these tigers, but I was certainly excited to pet them. We got in line and realized that this tiger petting was a fine oiled, deadly machine. They made you take off any sunglasses, purse, or hat that you were wearing – damn these tigers were finicky. You would get two volunteers assigned to you, one that took your camera from you to take pictures, and one that took your hand, held it and led you around to the tigers. They would not say anything to you, just hold your hand – it was all very creepy. They would sit you down behind a tiger and put your hand on the tiger’s back, soon the paparazzi would start to take a bunch of photos of you and the tiger. The guide would take your hand again and lead you to another tiger….more paparazzi, and this continues for about 4 tigers before they took you back to the line and gave you your camera back. You never exchanged any words with the person – it was really strange. but – I got my pictures…and that’s what I risked life and limb for…the perfect shot!

That night Emily and I went to the night market in Kanchanabur for some papaya salad and meatballs – and any new delights that we could find. There we came across something that we had never seen at any night market before…insects. I’m not talking about the ones flying around…but I’m talking about ones to eat! Photo: The dinner bugs…tastey
As I peered into a pile of fried grasshoppers, locusts, and worms – I realized – I had met my limit. I couldn’t eat the bugs. There would never be enough napkins in this market for me if I ate a bug. However – Emily did not disappoint….she kept staring at them, going by the stand over and over, finally hovering by the stand. I finally just said…”Go ahead – you know you want to try it…just do it”. There were many people coming up to the stand getting a whole bag of mixed bugs for dinner – however Emily just wanted to try one. We gave the lady 1 Baht and she gave Emily a Locust looking bug – about 3 inches long. I readied the camera and she bit…chewed for a bit – and said that it was ok. However – she wasn’t ready to get a bag for dinner! We got our other food, sat on a curb and ate our spicy food with our little napkin – proud of ourselves for being the only Caucasians at the market! We ended the night with wine, ice cream, cookie crisp cereal and a outdoor movie at the bar. What a great town!

Our whirlwind eating tour was coming to an end. We were so proud of ourselves for trying everything, eating all of the places the guidebooks tell you not to eat, and loving every minutes of it. I wanted to educate everyone on the fact that sometimes you need to ignore the guidebook advice and just do what feels right. Try new things….if you are in Thailand – try the papaya salad – Thai spicy! But most importantly…we finally learned why you only get a little one-ply napkin in Thailand. We were told that the Thai people feel that it’s distasteful to wipe your face with a napkin and then put it back in your lap to use again. In essence – you are reusing a dirty napkin that way. They believe that napkins are for a one time use – and you can use how ever many you want! So – don’t be afraid to sit at your table in Thailand piling up a stack of napkins the size of Kilimanjaro…it’s customary! Happy Eating!

Photo: Emily at one with her tiny napkin!

Eye of the Dragon

View Thailand Hill Tribe Photography

View Chiang Mai snapshots

I have arrived in Thailand – ready to kick off the new year with some new countries to discover. My friend Emily from NYC has decided to come join me for a few weeks in Thailand! I’ve never actually traveled with Emily before, and in fact, we never really went out much in NYC together – however we had two major things in common…running and traveling. Emily is a part of my regular running group in NY and I met her through running many early mornings in Central Park before work. Through those runs I came to find out that she also shared a love of travel with me. She had traveled extensively when she was younger and had made many trips to South America. When I told her about my around the world adventure – she immediately said that she wanted to come meet me somewhere along the way. So – here she is – after a 20+ hour plane flight – ready to explore with me and build upon our friendship.

We met in Chiang Mai ready to be immersed in a new culture. Unlike many of my other friends, Emily was game for roughing it through Thailand – we both really wanted to get off the beaten path and see Thai people and country side. That’s why we decided to start with Northern Thailand. We had seen beaches before and we knew that the beaches of southern Thailand were supposed to be gorgeous – but we wanted to challenge ourselves a bit more. When Emily got to Chiang Mai she was fighting off jet lag – but we decided that we would go to see a temple for a little afternoon outing. We took a little Songtaew (Converted Pick up trucks with twin rows of seats in the back ply the main routes looking for passengers ) to Phrathat Doi Suthep and quickly realized that the Jewish girl from NY and the Lutheran girl from the midwest really knew nothing about Buddhism! We looked around the temple in wonder, watching the monks throw water on people, watching the people ring hundreds of bells – but had no idea why any of this was happening. We took note of all of our questions figuring that we would need to get them answered sometime during out trip.

Boy with Gun

Our hotel that we stayed at in Chiang Mai was big, clean, and lovely – then only downside was that it was outside of the town center. Of course we didn’t really realize this was a problem until we went to the town center and then tried to catch a taxi back to the hotel. We tried to flag down a cab NY style and asked them to take us to the Green Lake Resort. We received a blank stare. We also quickly realized that unlike all of the other countries that I’ve been to – not many people knew English. I showed them the address and they would say “too far” and leave us! After going through this many times, we started getting worried about how we would get back to the hotel as we didn’t even have a good map or the name of the hotel in Thai. Finally, a songtaew driver who had no one in his truck said ok – but he was going to charge us 5 times as much as it cost us to get into town. We agreed…after all – 5 times as much still meant that it was under $10…a bargain in NY cab terms! We should’ve known that it wouldn’t go smoothly, it’s not like NY where you just give them the address and the cross st. and zoom off. Even with the address and a very rough map he didn’t know where it was – so he made me sit in front with him to help show him the way. One problem – I had no idea where it was either! He spoke a small amount of English – so we tried to hack our way through a conversation about the location. I happened to have the hotel phone number so he called on his hand phone and after a 5 minute conversation with them he said “I know where is…no worry”. I was skeptical – but said ok feeling somewhat relieved. However, at this point I realized why he didn’t have any other passengers in his truck – he was a terrible driver!

 I honestly don’t think the taxi driver could see – we’d pull out in front of traffic, we’d about hit the motor scooters, I tried not to look! The only thing that comforted me was that we couldn’t get hurt too badly because he was only going a max of 15 mph! About 40 minutes later, we made it to the hotel after many close calls and much nervous laughter. I had obviously been docile in Singapore too long – I forgot one of the main rules of travel in another country…always bring a map with address and phone number of where you want to go (even better if you can get this written in the language of the country!) . Needless to say – when we did arrive at the hotel – we needed a drink!

We had decided to do a hill tribe trek out of Chiang Mai. We hired a guide through Wayfayers Travel and did their 3 day, 2 night hill tribe tour. This meant that we would not only be trekking to the tribes in the mountains near Burma, but we would also be staying with them – in their villages for 2 nights! What a great way to really intermix with locals! We met our guide, Hay, and immediately fell in love with him. He was so kind and eager to answer all of our questions. During the 2 hour drive to the trekking start point – we peppered him with questions. We were able to get all of our questions about Buddhism answered – as well as learn about the tribes that we would be staying with. So – for the record – people ring bells at a Buddhist temple for good luck. We also learned about the monks and their lives in the temple. It was all quite fascinating and very different from any religion I had encountered so far in my travels. When we met Hay the night before to talk about the Trek, he asked us what kind of food we’d like to eat on the Trek. We enthusiastically told him “Anything that is local – we want to try it all!” His face immediately lit up – “Really?” He said. “Yes – we want to see and taste what the locals eat!” One of the first things I learned about Emily is that she’ll eat anything…put it in front of her and she’ll try it. A crazy combination of things – sugar, spicy peppers, pineapple, vinegar all mixed together – no problem. The spicier the better for her. I can only imagine that her stomach is made of Teflon or something!

We had planned on visiting a number of different hill tribes – each had a different religion and came from different countries originally. The trekking wasn’t necessarily extremely strenuous – but you certainly did work up a sweat as you traversed up and down hills and through the tall, dry grass that went above my head in some places! Luckily, Hay didn’t know what a tick was – so I felt that I was safe as I walked through the shoulder high grass!

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Photo: Karen tribe girl
A porter, Chau Dok, from one of the Karen tribes walked with us and carried our extra food and sleeping bags – so there were 4 of us total. Hay and Chau Dok would sing Thai songs and we would stop for break and shoot slingshots…it was really fun! My sling shot skill had diminished since my childhood, however I didn’t do half bad when aiming at targets! Trekking also meant that I was also back to peeing within nature…or as Hay would refer to it “Going to Phi Phi Island” (there is an island in the south of Thailand called Koh Phi Phi prounounced koh pee pee). When we were close to the first overnight village, a teenage boy from the village passed by us carrying a long muscat looking gun of sorts. Honestly – it looked like something from civil war times! I was a bit surprised to see this and asked Hay why he was carrying a gun. Hay told us that the boy was going out to hunt rat…yup, rat. Apparently rat is a main food staple on the Karen Tribe’s diet. I told Hay that if he wanted to catch rat, he should come hunting in the NYC subway, however I don’t think they will allow the gun…at least that’s how it was when I left!

Our first overnight was with the Karen Tribe. They were from Burma and had been in Thailand for over 100 years now. They were Christian – which I found surprising since Buddhism was very strong here. Obviously some missionary got to them years ago! The village had about 150 people living in it. It had a very small school and I think the livestock outnumbered the people in the village! There were pigs, dogs, cats, cows, chickens and the ever popular alarm clock…the rooster. We were shown our accommodations – which were pleasant enough. We had a little hut to sleep in off the ground, there was a ‘toilet’ and a ‘shower’. I say these terms loosely because the toilet was a typical Asian ‘squatty potty’ and the shower was a bucket of water and a facet coming out of the ground. What made them a ‘toilet’ and a ‘shower’ was the fact that they had built a little bamboo shelter around them – so they were private for the most part. There’s nothing like taking a shower with cold water a bucket and a ladle…but of course I tried…brrrrrr.
Photo: Emily eating with the animals!
The family that was hosting us was very nice – their names were Mommie and Daddie…ok – these weren’t their real names – but that’s what they wanted to go by…fine with me as it was easy to remember. They lived in a one room hut with dirt ground as the floor. This was their kitchen, and bedroom (they slept 6 people in there!) and I guess their living room was really outside around the fire pit! Needless to say…this was simple living! Hay started to work away in the kitchen cooking us up a Thai feast, so we went walking around the village to take pictures and see some more of the tribe. As we walked around amongst the pigs and chickens, the people were out cutting up bamboo, getting food for the animals, weaving cloth, and the kids were playing with an old rice sack having a sack race. It was all pretty surreal to me. Most of these people never left their village – and they never planned to leave in the future…they were content. They did have a few modern things such as the pipes carrying water from the stream, one tv in the village, solar electricity (very little), and I saw one satellite hanging on the side of a bamboo hut…pretty humorous. However – I want to stress that even through they had some modern things, this was a very simple life – one that we are not at all accustomed to.

Hay called us for dinner and we sat outside amongst the various animals and were treated to a feast of wonderful food! It was so spicy that my sinuses were quickly awakened and left me wondering why I didn’t bring more Kleenex along! Soon Hay came out all excited, jumping around with a big smile on his face…he said “Do you want to see what the family is eating for dinner?” Of course we did! He took us over to Mommie who was preparing Frog Soup. Basically – all I saw was a dishpan of live frogs, and fish – not too appetizing – but they seemed pretty excited about it. Then he took us to another home and asked us again – do you really want to see this? Yes – we do! He unwrapped some banana leaves and there they were…rats, freshly roasted! Apparently – this was quite a treat, fresh rat…3 of them! They were actually quite small for a rat – they looked more like mice if you ask me. Photo: The rats
I told them that NYC had really LARGE rats and I showed them the size with my hands! Their eyes lit up and Daddie asked me in complete seriousness “Do they eat the rat?” “Uh…no” I said.

We sat around the fire that night with Mommie and Daddie and various other people while Hey told us about the culture of courting in the Karen tribe. This is one of my favorite things to learn about as I travel – relationships and dating. I always ask about how people met their spouse, if they dated, and how old they are when they get married, etc.. I find that it is so simple in other countries, yet in the westernized world that we live in…it is extremely complicated – then again…maybe I just make it complicated! A thought to be pondered at another time! The Karen tribe do not typically marry within their village – they marry other Karen tribe members in neighboring villages. They meet when they are young when attending a funeral in one of the villages. The elders first go to the funeral and sing various songs and go through various rituals around the funeral, and then the younger/teenager kids come and sing the same songs and basically flirt. Photo: Girls going to school
Hay calls it “giving the sweet eyes” – I call it flirting. The funny thing is that the girls make the first move (which maybe isn’t so bad) by giving the boys ‘sweet eyes’ and then the boys show if they are interested. They dance, they sing, they visit each others parents, and then they get married…all of this after maybe a month of ‘courting’. Cows are exchanged, vows are exchanged, and one of them moves into the others village…simple. Maybe I need to learn how to give ‘sweet eyes’.

As we were talking about this dating ritual – another person came up to Hay with a bowl and said something to him. He looked at us and said “They want to know if you’d like to taste the rat” Of course Emily quickly answered “Yes!” I hesitated a bit…wondering if I really had the guts to eat a rat. I thought of all of the rats I had seen in the subway in NYC, I thought about the guinea pig I ate in Peru, I thought about what my friend and family would think when I told them that I ate a rat. I knew that if I ate it, people would really think I had lost my mind, however, I slowly decided…you only live once…I’ll try it. They handed around the bowl and instructed us to take a leg…yes – a little rat leg to nibble on…how appetizing. I made sure that I had water nearby…just in case. I looked at Emily’s reaction – she didn’t die…so I tried mine. I turned off my head lamp so that I couldn’t really see the skin that seemed to be a greenish color, and I nibbled on the meat on the bone. Surprise…it wasn’t half bad. I can hardly believe that I’m saying this – but it was actually kind of tasty. Mental note – when I go back to NYC and can’t find a job – I guess I can always eat rat to survive. It’s always good to have a backup plan! That night I was a little on edge wondering how my stomach was going to like the rat – but it seemed at one with the rat – so I slept fine. Well – as fine as you can on a bamboo floor, a sleeping bag, and the sounds of pigs, and roosters underneath your hut. Just another normal day in my travels.

Day two trekking was much harder, we went through more villages, more hills, and finally stopped for lunch. I decided to simply eat what Hay prepared for us…no crazy stuff – I didn’t want to risk a terrible toilet story. However ‘I’ll-eat-anything-Emily’ decided she would have a beer to cool down. Next she tried sardines, raw chili peppers and raw garlic…yes – raw garlic, topping it off with raw lemon grass root. Not the combination of food I would choose – but she loved it – as she helped herself to seconds! That afternoon we didn’t have to trek, instead we were taken by elephant to the next village. We got up on the wobbly elephant and started down the trail. About 4 minutes into the slow, wobbly ride Emily said “I think I’m elephant sick” I said “No, I think you are sardines, garlic, and beer sick!!”. She made it through the ride – but it was rather touch and go.

As soon as we made it to the next tribe, she went inside the hut and took a much needed nap! I took my bucket shower and went out to explore the village. We were staying at a Palong tribe this night. They were from Burma and had arrived 27 years ago (rather recent in the scheme of things). They were Buddhist and there were about 200 people in the village. They had a much more distinctive dress and look to them. They were more plump and extremely jovial. 
They mainly made money on agriculture and we came across many of them in the field harvesting their beans by hand. That night, I ate another yummy Thai meal that Hay made and Emily took it easy. We sat around the fire with our host, Pong, and his family. We laughed all
night as we shared stories in broken English. Pong wanted us to sing songs – so I was able to sing a few rounds of Jingle Bells and the Hokey Poky. He even gave us a flashlight to use as a microphone…we were the next Palong Idol for sure!
Photo: Teenage boys in the Palong Tribe – hangin’ out on the corner

The next morning we took off on our final leg of the trek and then got on a bamboo raft to float down the river for a while – kind of like a gondola in Venice! Hay picked us up with our driver at the end of the rafting and took us for our final lunch. We went into the closest town and he agreed to take us to an authentic Thai restaurant…a place where only locals go. He was so excited that we wanted to really experience real Thai food and not the European version that many of the tourists have (it’s Thai – but not nearly as spicy). He took us for sticky rice…yum! I have had sticky rice many times in NYC…however I never had the real Thai version before. Photo: Me eating with my hands
We got to the little roadside restaurant/hut and sat down. They brought us a number of soupy, meat dishes, veggies, and little individual containers of sticky rice. Hay showed us how to simply eat it as the locals do – with our hands! He showed us how to roll up a small amount of rice in a ball and then flatten it out kind of like a spoon – then you would pick up the meat mixtures with the rice and your thumb (on the same hand) and eat it! It was wonderful…and really had my sinuses going…it was hot! Hay drove us back to Chang Mai and we sadly said goodbye. We really developed a great relationship with him – he was definitely one of my favorite guides in my travels so far – he really made the experience for us. We could ask him anything…and we did. He was so happy that we wanted to really experience the culture and embrace our surroundings. I think he was most happy that we ate the rat that was offered to us! He even showed me his journal (in Thai script) where he wrote about us eating the rat. I think he’ll remember the women from NYC for a while!

Photo: Eggs at the market. Pink ones are 100 days old…a delicacy.
The next day we went to Chiang Mai to take a cooking class. We went to the local market with our teachers and learned about Asian produce and meat. It actually was great as I have cooked plenty of Thai food before – but I never really knew why you did some of the things in the order directed – now it actually made sense! We went to the suburbs of Chiang Mai to the chef’s house. It was a big organization – there were about 25 of us and the school was beautiful. The chef seemed to be the Emerel of Thailand…very famous and very full of himself! Regardless – we learned how to use the wok properly, make some amazing curries, soup, and salads. We ate everything we made and were exhausted by the end of the day! For all of my friends in NY – when I come back – I will cook you up a Thai feast…don’t worry – I won’t serve rat – but it will be spicy!

That night we went to see a Thai boxing match! This was one of the things that was a ‘must do’ for me while I was in Thailand. Since I have a love of boxing myself – I really wanted to see what this popular Thai past-time was all about. We got tickets to a big fight and went to Kavila to watch 10 different fights that night.
There were many local people there and there was no translation into English. We were immediately ushered into the Caucasian section…it seemed like there were other people with our desire of seeing a local match…however they sat us all together for some reason! The matches were intense…I can’t believe how powerful their kicks were and how high they could kick their legs! The fighters were really thin, they were extremely lean…a body type that you wouldn’t think was an excellent fighter at first glance – however you quickly learned that the leaner they were the better they were!

During the rounds they would play this crazy Thai music from a live band – it seemed a bit distracting to me – but I guess the boxers didn’t mind. My favorite part was watching and hearing the fans as they reacted to various kicks and punches – it sounded as if we were at a bull fight in Spain…Ole! You could easily tell though that this was their passion…forget Soccer…this country was all about boxing.

Our time in and around Chiang Mai was great – full of good food, new friends, and some authentic (and crazy) experiences!